It’s that time of the week again…
1. Global Positioning Systems are to be introduced in 1,000 taxis across Hong Kong. What are the downsides of adopting this technology?
A. Automated voice can be programmed to say “Butts Road”
B. Less room on dashboard for Doraemon and Hello Kitty bobbleheads
C. Remaining 17,000 taxis still driving around aimlessly
2. The government’s plan to introduce a 50-cent plastic bag levy is set to go ahead. How will people cope with this?
A. Amount of plastic bags you carry becomes new status symbol
B. Government discovers too late that plastic bags underpin entire economy. Hong Kong in chaos. Zombie hordes feast on the flesh of the paper-bag carrying living!
C. Rejoicing now that global warming has been stopped
3. The Airbus 380 was in town last week. Besides being the biggest plane ever built, what are its special features?
A. Thanks to double-decker seating, passengers now able to join mile-high club before takeoff
B. In case of hijacking, it has a 747 escape pod so you’re journey won’t be inconvenienced
C. French captain also claims to be "World's Biggest," if you know what he means...
D. Free socks
4. Nine-year-old math prodigy March Boedihardjo started university this week. What problems are experts anticipating?
A. Too short to do a keg stand
B. Canteen doesn’t provide sippy cups
C. Hardly any hot child genius chicks to mack on
5. Bar benders have been protesting for over a month. What are they protesting about?
A. Unfair portrayal as disco-dancing good-time guys by The Village People
B. Bars too strong!
C. Petition to change name to the more masculine “rod jockeys”