Prof. Kuso
Retired and outspoken professor of biochemistry, Dr. Tso Wung-wai, is always good for a science sound bite. He has appeared on numerous TV shows and became a kuso (satirical) celebrity after being asked to comment on why McDonald’s doesn’t serve vermicelli with beef.
HK Magazine: So you are in the news again for responding to ridiculous messages on your forum. Why do you bother to answer questions like that?
Tso Wung-wai: Well, I don’t mind answering those questions since it doesn’t take up much of my time. My answers are very short and succinct. Despite all those stupid messages, these people do keep me informed about what the world is like today.
HK: Your image is frequently parodied as you are one of the most popular targets in the world of kuso.
TWW: I didn’t know they had name for this kind of satire culture until you told me. Kuso? Hmm... I have loads of these pictures people have made of me and I received 300 edited pictures of myself in a single day. Honestly, I don’t mind - some of them quite humorous. But I hate those people who recombine my image with erotica. With the same effort and skill set, they could have done something more constructive.
HK: Do you believe in ghosts?
TWW: Totally not. When I was young, I went to a so-called haunted place and waited all night long just to see if there really was a ghost. I saw nothing and it's not scary. If I were killed by the ghost, then it would mean ghosts exist and logically, I would turn into a ghost too and could do all kinds of tricks on people. So death must not be so bad after all.
HK: How did you like traveling in the States?
TWW: I worked hard, played hard, and drove recklessly around different states to visit my friends. I participated in radical demonstrations, learned to install a toilet bowl, and was robbed three times in New York. I left a note on my camera saying the camera wasn’t worth much money, yet it had a very high sentimental value to me. But some heartless thief stole it anyway.
HK: Time for some science questions! Is it possible that my contact lenses could be lost in my head forever?
TWW: Well, I don’t know. It depends on whether there is enough space behind your eyeballs and whether those contact lenses are degradable or not. I mean, if the lenses are not organic, no bacteria could grow from it, and given that there are enough spaces for the contact lenses to stay, they COULD stay in your head forever.
HK: Are silicon breast implants safe?
TWW: Silicon is pretty stable unless you can live till 200. By then the material may turn a bit toxic.