Reality Dykes

Ah, that “L” word; a term that conjures images of overweight feminists in stonewashed dungarees or porn stars cavorting in an ugly hotel room… but nothing could be farther from the truth. With an explosion of girl-on-girl events happening across the city, it seems Hong Kong’s lesbians are finally grabbing those old preconceptions by the balls and pulling the city out of dyke-denial obscurity. Even Cantopop stars have been allegedly at it, with friendly rumors constantly swirling around several high-profile Cantopop stars.

“There is no doubt that lesbianism is now a lot more visible in Hong Kong,” says Vicci Ho, 25, a lesbian event manager who is on the organizing committee for the Hong Kong Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. “I came back to Hong Kong two years ago after living in Sydney and I remember being stunned to see two young girls kissing on the MTR. People around them weren’t bothered at all and just behaved like it was the most normal thing in the world,” Ho says. She was so encouraged by the positive reception lesbians experienced in Hong Kong that she decided to set up her own monthly girls night, KiteKat, at Bliss in SoHo. “There are loads of events around for girls who are up for crazy partying, but I wanted to do an event that had a more chilled-out vibe, so new people wouldn’t feel intimidated to come along, “ she explains. “I think there is now room for different types of nights within the lesbian scene, catering to all different types of women. I know lesbians that are my parents age – they don’t want to go clubbing on the weekend, but they do want to socialize with like-minded people.”

Indeed, for event managers, the lesbian scene is exploding in Hong Kong. Eunice Fu is helping shipping a bevy of eager Hong Kong lesbians to the first three-day lesbian DJ event in Asia. Organized by popular gay website Fridae.com, W@Nation will take place in Phuket in October and Fu is working with local lesbian event company HK Queenz. “It’s going to be absolutely huge,” she says.

Dyke Divisions

As the lesbian scene broadens in Hong Kong so does the minefield of nicknames and lingo, and the roles that sometimes come with them. “The Hong Kong lesbian scene seems to combine a lot of notions from all over the world,” explains Ho. “The tomboy and tomboy-girl thing is certainly not a new concept, but I do feel it’s more common in Asia. In Sydney, there was the attitude that anything goes. Here, some girls feel they need to stick to their chosen role and the rules that come with it. For example, TBs (tomboys) don’t generally date other TBs.” (See below for explanations of the terminology.)

So why do people feel the need to pigeonhole themselves like this? “Hong Kong may appear to be liberal, but it’s not an easy place to come out,” explains Ho. “Women find themselves locked into their family’s expectations and many traditional Chinese families certainly don’t take the idea of lesbianism very seriously. So I think by developing a certain role, these girls can cling to a greater sense of community which helps them wear their lesbianism like a badge and separate themselves from the straight girls.”

Lesbian labels can both help and hinder the girl-on-girl dating process. Alice Li, a 21-year-old single lesbian at HKU says the labels often speed up the process when dating online. “I’d describe myself as ‘femme’ and I don’t really go for butch girls or TB’s, so when I’m dating online it’s sometimes useful to know exactly what everyone’s into. It just saves a lot of wasted time and energy,” she explains. “I don’t bother going on any dates with someone who describes themselves as ‘butch,’ I know what I like so I don’t need to try anything new.”

But while some lesbians are happily identifying themselves with these labels, others find the whole process confusing. “I was on a lesbian forum last week and came across a posting from this girl who really worried because she defined herself as a TB but found herself attracted to other TBs [who don’t generally date, according to these labels],” says Ho. “At that point, you think these labels are getting out of control. Lesbians already face narrow-minded views in society – the last thing they need is to start creating more angst within their own community.”