Blue Bar
Wasn’t Jace the wakeboarding instructor tan? But off the beach, it turns out his faded tees and casual manner aren’t welcome at most other places. So take him to Blue and insist he try one of their 88 wealthily luxuriant cocktails – the laidback fool will probably try to order a beer instead, so pretend that the bar doesn’t actually stock 18 imported varieties. He’ll barely be used to formal seating, much less the straight-backed leather sofas strewn about, so by the time you’ve force-fed him half a matzah ball from the free snack buffet, he’ll be telling you that you just aren’t the person he thought you were. Oh, that life could always be this easily manipulated!
G/F, Four Seasons Hotel, 8 Finance St., Central, 3196-8830.
Dragon-I
You needed money; he lusted after the sexual vigor of youth. Now there’s no way the old coot will let go of you. So bring him to a sugar daddy-filled bar like Dragon-I where you can introduce him to your new, younger, richer sugar daddy. Arrange a meeting in the VIP room, which will be pumping house and hip-hop late into the night. Request the ever-popular bottle of Cristal and when your erstwhile sugar daddy tries to pay, slap him violently and explain in earshot of the young, rich and hot that your Real Daddy will be getting this one. The senile old loon will never satisfy his ephebophilic desires here again.
UG/F, The Centrium, 60 Wyndham St., Central, 3110-1222.
Sake
It’s not often you find a backpacker who’s hot, charming and erudite. Then you wake up and spy his Birkenstocks. Bring the dweeb to this intimate, dimly lit sake bar tucked away on a Causeway Bay side street and ply him with plenty of potent liquor like the specialty shoju or the many types of sake. He may protest, but since he prides himself on his cultural sensitivity, the mere suggestion that the unobtrusive yet effective serving staff will be insulted should get him downing jugs of the stuff in no time. Soon his naïve, senseless head will loll against the comfy cushions on the velvet sofas and a quick, painless exit is yours.
26 Yiu Wa St., Causeway Bay, 2295-6010.