The Rise and Fall of Mr. Know-It-All
We all remember the Mr. Know-It-All scandal, which dominated the headlines two months ago. All government activity stopped and even health scares were pushed below the fold. Now here, for the first time, Mr. Know-It-All tells his side of the story. As told to Adam White.
Some say I didn’t know enough. Maybe I just knew too much. But when you’ve been at the top of the knowing game for 15 years, ignorance doesn’t come easy.
I had it all. Wealth, fame, women, knowledge. Mine was the life that everyone wanted but no one else had. In and out of society pages, parties, women. I was the person every broad wanted and every man wanted to be. Mr. Know-It-All, Hong Kong’s favorite smart aleck. But then it all went wrong, and suddenly not all the knowledge in the world could help me.
It started, as these things do, on a Saturday night at Dragon-i. Surrounded by brainless, fawning admirers, I answered their questions with ease, flair and style – where to get a colonic (Mind Body Colon Cleansing Centre, Room 101 Alliance Building, 133 Connaught Road, Central, 2805-7535), how to learn to read (The Montessori School, 29 Queen’s Road East, 2861-0339)... you know, model stuff.
Then out of the crowd, a sultry broad in a red qipao worked her way up to me and the way she moved demanded attention. I gave it – she had legs like Longhair had hair. She leaned over, with a grin so wicked it’d make the devil give up and go back to evil school.
“Tell me, Mr. KIA – is it true what they say about a man with a large knowledge base?”
“Why don’t we step out and I’ll demonstrate, Miss...?”
“Show-It-All. Little Miss Show-It-All,” she simpered.