Kingway Beer garden
So you’ve been hoodwinked into spending the night in Shenzhen. Better start by getting massively blitzed. This popular garden is a great gateway to oblivion – a large open air dining space, complete with plastic tables, yellow tablecloths, and penny pitchers of the fabulously artificial local brew, Kingway. And with all the extra chemicals thrown in, there might even be a chance you’ll drink one that will knock you unconscious for the night. You’ll wake up naked and shivering without so much as a dollar to your name, but at least the night is over.
1, Buxin Dongchang Rd., 0755-2551-6328
Prince
Assuming you’ve been unfortunate and haven’t struck it lucky with a deadly chemical, then you’d better move on to Prince, where you can try to cauterize the bleeding stump of your consciousness with the sweet, red-hot flame of alcohol. As you order another shot of nameless spirit, look around and view the dancing few as fellow souls in this boat to purgatory. Concentrate on making the throbbing beat tangible, so that you may grasp hold of it and smash your brains into the shiny bar counter.
#3, Section 5, Shenzhen Stadium, Futian 0755-8332-4555.
E Bar
The first thing you’ll notice walking into this place is the bar is on fire – but save your rejoicing, it’s just a show. The bar is in business still, so resignedly order what will hopefully be the drink that sends you on a one-way trip to Forgetsville, Texas. But wait – that bus ain’t coming. It’s popped a flat, the jack’s broke and the spare’s being used as a keg holder in a rest stop in Illinois. You’re left necking drinks, watching the white guys trying to score while a muted MTV2 plays on the projection screen. This, you think, is what hell must be like.
Sport Center Gate, Sungang Rd., Futian, 0755-8327-6642.
Mexico
All the elements of a real club are here – dancefloor, booming techno, bright lights – but something is dreadfully, woefully wrong. Order a martini, because you need some small sophistication to continue living, and it will arrive with an entire lemon skin nestling inside the glass. Remove it, pound back the gin and order another one. But it’s inevitable – innumerable drinks later, as the equally innumerable laser lights circle the floor, you’ll realize what you should have realized from the start – you cannot escape. You are here to stay, friend. You can drink all you want, but you can never escape. Next to Prince; no phone number.