It’s Halloween weekend, the dirtiest, most demonic weekend of the year, when Hong Kong’s nocturnal beasts descend on the city’s nocturnal districts to drink, dance and party. But rather than give you another set of costume shop listings, we’ve decided to take the opportunity to give you all you need to have the biggest weekend ever—no matter whether it’s Halloween or not. Follow one of our suggested itineraries below, or mix-and-match to create your perfect night out. If you’ve been in Hong Kong for a while, you might enjoy taking a trip down memory lane with our nightlife retrospective that takes you from the 1950s up to the 1990s.

The Straight Man’s Night Out

Start in NoHo for dinner at Basement. Not my fave but the GF loves it and this early in the evening you’re buying partying equity for the rest of the night.
29 Gough St., Central, 2854-0010

Soho for a quick drink. Globe or one of the Elgin bars. Watch the mating in cougar alley. Tip: remember the outfits in case you see them later while drunk and think, “wow, this 28-year-old is hot.”
45 Graham St., Central, 2543-1941

Up to Tazmania Ballroom to watch people play pool badly and young girls dance with old rich guys. Yes we can. You can get trapped here until 2am talking to some guy in a ponytail so mental note for a quick G&T, make the rounds, and exit early. It might be Dragon-i time.
1/F, LKF Tower, 33 Wyndham St., Central, 2801-5009

Nope, it’s not. I’m Prive-ing now—it’s just one of those nights. Prive’s the Old Hyde but Hyde has the exact same people anyway so why make the Lyndhurst walk?
G/F, The Centrium, 60 Wyndham St., Central, 2810-8199

Down the road to Volar. Step over the drunk girl passed out on the stairs. Can you say your picture will be on facebook tomorrow? No, she can’t.
B/F, 38-44 D’Aguilar St., Central, 2810-1510

Volar. The crowd’s too pushy so identify a friend with a table or carve out a space by the DJ booth. Watch some skinny male models dance arhythmically.

4:30am and the night’s not over. Only one place left: Tin Hau.