Here are some fun things to do on the MTR if you’re bored: • Gym it. The MTR is an excellent place to do all your cardio workouts and it’s much cheaper than a membership at PURE. Select exercises include pull-ups on the bar, races down that long hallway, and speed training when you spot an empty seat at the same time as an old woman. • Play MTR chicken. You and your friend line up outside a car and wait until it’s about to close. Whoever can wait the longest but still make it in the car wins. Remember: if over 50 percent of your body is inside you’re a winner, so don’t worry if your arm and/or one of your legs is stuck. • Convince your friends you’re cool. Call up the coolest guy you know and say, “hey man… oh what’s that? Yeah I’m at an awesome bar, because it’s so loud here… What’s that?... Oh, it’s just this hot girl I met…yeah, she likes to say the names of places like Central, Admiralty, TST, Jordan, you know, the usual… what? Yeah man, the doors ARE closing. The doors to my apartment that is…” • MTR surf. Here’s how it works: You and your friend plant both feet on the ground and stand, legs bent. When the subway moves, sing a surfing riff loudly and say things like “Cowabunga!” Move side to side like you’re hitting a big wave. As the MTR slows down keep your feet planted. The first one to take a step has wiped out and loses. • Dance party. The MTR is basically like a rave except for no techno or strobe lights. You can solve all of this with a portable boom-box and a quick bribe to the conductor to rhythmically turn off and on the car’s electricity. “Good job, David Guetta,” your fellow travelers will tell you. • Meet girls. Believe it or not, there are a lot of people on the MTR, and some of them are girls. Start off smoothly by subtly glancing at them as you enter the car. Don’t be discouraged if they don’t notice you; they’re probably texting a friend on their new iPhone 4. Keep staring at them and clearing your throat loudly until they look at you. Now quickly, while their eyes are distracted, take their phone and run away. Congratulations! You’ve just won a new iPhone 4! • Do your domestic work. Few people realize that the MTR is the perfect spot for all your domestic duties. Tie a rope between two poles and hang your laundry. Press those wrinkled suits by letting the doors close on them. Mop the floors but make sure that your “guests” (passengers) take off their shoes before entering. • Check for supernatural occurrences. Bring a mirror and check people’s reflections closely. If they don’t have one, you’ve found a vampire. Get his autograph and sell it on eBay as official “Twilight” memorabilia. • Power nap. The MTR is the perfect place to sleep since it has an abundance of shoulders you can rest your tired head on and people who might tell you bedtime stories. Come in pajamas with your favorite book and a glass of warm milk. Give the book to a stranger to read to you and curl up and lie down on the person next to you. Now slowly waft off to dreamland. (Note: this will only work if you are a seven-year-old girl) • Talk VERY LOUDLY on your cell phone. It’s the only way people know you mean business. Am I right Hong Kong?