Part 2 of Yalun Tu’s infamous Rugby 7s weekend…
We go to the roof, drinking more beers and listening to “Juicy” by Notorious BIG on repeat. You know how when you’re drunk you can remember one thing? Well, the one thing I remembered is the lyric: “My accountant handles that!” And that becomes our rallying cry for the evening...
SATURDAY
I celebrate being tattoo free by having a beer with my Swedish neighbor who – when I knocked on his door – was already having a beer. It is 1 PM and we are still in our underwear. We grab HK Magazine’s own William Zachary Hines and hop into a taxi to the stadium, armed with a small case of beers. Inside, I explain my brilliant drinking game to my neighbor who says, “why don’t we just drink?” Well, ok then. I wander to a first floor box (loser box alert!) to meet my friend, who has two investment bankers hitting on her. “We work for Credit Lyonnais” they tell us. Yeah, right, like that’s a real place. I nod like I’m interested and drink a full cup of their Grey Goose cranberry as they ask me if I’m supposed to be here. Not anymore suckers, I tell myself in my head but continue nodding so they think I care.
After a few more beers, I punch an obnoxious spongebob squarepants costumed guy right in his squarepants but am rebuked by the masses when I realize it’s a 15 year old boy. I hide out in the bathroom where I meet the biggest person I have ever in my entire life drying his hands. “Do you play Rugby?” I ask. “Nah, man” the giant booms. “I play football in the NFL.”
It turns out Mr. NFL is an Arizona Cardinal and just in town to party. His excitable handler shows up and tells us they’re going to the hottest club in town that night: Al’s Diner. Um, ok. I head back a company box where we steal blue pillows and look for my missing Swedish neighbor.
Arriving home, I feel awful and sick. I lie down in bed and try to pass out, but instead order Thai food and invite 7 people over. We go to the roof, drinking more beers and listening to “Juicy” by Notorious BIG on repeat. You know how when you’re drunk you can remember one thing? Well, the one thing I remembered is the lyric: “My accountant handles that!” And that becomes our rallying cry for the evening:
-Can you pass me a beer?
-Sorry, my accountant handles that!
-You drank 8 beers and don’t need to use the restroom?
-Oh, my accountant handles that.
-I love you.
-MY ACCOUNTANT HANDLES THAT!