Hed Kandi
I look around—my hotel room is in tatters. There are bottles on the floor, pillows everywhere except the bed, and for some reason all the chairs are in the bathroom. What the hell happened?
Sunday Afternoon: RING! RING! RING! RING! Groggily, and painfully, I pick up the phone. My head is killing me. “This is your wakeup call!” a pleasant voice explains. I look around—my hotel room is in tatters. There are bottles on the floor, pillows everywhere except the bed, and for some reason all the chairs are in the bathroom. What the
hell happened?
FLASHBACK
Saturday Afternoon: Bright-eyed and smiley I am sitting with some friends on the Cotai ferry to Macau. Venetian PR extraordinaire Jacqueline Wu has invited us to the Hed Kandi party, which promises a sweet pool, house music and maybe a few afternoon beers to relax. I look around at the folks sitting around me, resting and reading books. Hmm. There is nobody drinking.
Except us. My buddy Bridge immediately pulls out a handle of vodka (not a flask, the full handle) and we alternate between beers, vodka-OJ, and vodka-Vitamin Water, which is both refreshing and delicious! That last clause is part of my never-ending quest to get Vitamin Water to sponsor me. Or the Venetian for that matter. Or anybody. (Have you seen the stock market recently?) I look at my watch. The time is very blurry, indicating that I’m drunk.
We arrive and check into the Venetian. “Anybody want to go to Foga for Brazilian or the Shoppes or maybe the casino first?” I slur/ask. Everyone stares at me like I asked if they wanted to go clubbing in Mong Kok. “How about the pool party then?” Cheers erupt and we celebrate by drinking more beers.
Time to meet Jacqueline. We head to the Cabana, which is basically a sweet outdoor room with couches, a TV and, most importantly, bottles of Belvedere. “Would you like a drink?” she asks. “Sure, thanks!” I say. She pours a large glass and we toast.
Now, if this column were a movie, this would be the part where they do all those weird visual effects indicating that the hero (yup, just complimenting myself in print) has no idea WTF is going on. I lose a number of hours but the bits I remember include: falling in the pool, dancing to house music and then falling in the pool, trying to get out of the pool but then falling back into the pool, thinking I’m falling into the pool but am actually already in the pool, and being confused about falling in the pool. I also vaguely remember stealing a pool toy from a couple by screaming “TIDAL WAVE!” and then flipping them over, stealing their floatie, and running away—and then getting dizzy and falling back into the pool.