Joanne Leung
Born into a male body, transgender activist Joanne Leung underwent sex reassignment surgery in 2009, and has since helped other trans people in the city through her NGO, the Transgender Resource Centre. She discusses sexuality and Christianity with Grace Tsoi.
I have known that there was something different about me since I was a kid. I tried very hard to change myself. I trained to gain muscle. I did boyish things and studied at a boy’s school. It was very painful—I suppressed myself a lot.
I hated my sex organ. I tried telling myself that I didn’t hate it. But actually I did. I even hate other men’s sex organs.
I cannot accept penetration. I don’t like sex between men and women.
When I saw other women [in the past], I always felt depressed. Why was I born a man? Why can she wear girlish clothes, but not me?
In 2008, my doctor told me that I could undergo sex reassignment surgery. At first, I was happy. But then I started falling into depression one month before my surgery because I was so frightened. I spent a year recuperating from depression, and then in 2009, I had two operations.
During my year of depression, I told myself I would give up on surgery if a girl came along and accepted me as a person. Then I would get married, raise kids and have a family. Two girls approached me and said they wanted to give it a try. I plucked up my courage and asked them what kind of person they wanted me to be. Should I be a very masculine man? They said yes. I knew I couldn’t do that.
When some transgender people consider [sex reassignment] surgery, their focus is on the surgery. Their lives have been disasters and they assume that all their problems will go away after surgery. This is not true.