The 'By New Year’s' Resolution
Do you know what a New Year’s Resolution really is? It’s an excuse to get fat for the last three months of the year. In a world where one’s diet always starts tomorrow, New Year’s is a great abstract time when you assume you’ll be better dressed and have better abs, and so you'll subsequently tag yourself in 120 shirtless beach photos. But hey, since it’s far away, why don’t you have another dumpling? Surely you’ll be fit by early January.