4 AM: What to Do?

Last Saturday at Volar ended unceremoniously at 4am. The police showed up at the club and I assumed they were awesomely catching some gangster at a VIP table—but alas, it was just a capacity issue and they kicked us out onto the street. Thus, I found myself in the normal nightlife 4am dilemma, which I illustrate as follows:

4 AM: What to Do?

Home. This is what I did—mercifully for my liver—but also kind of means that I kind of suck. Remember when you’re 22 and you’re out partying for a full night and then some old person says, “I just gotta go to sleep. I’m getting old.” And you think, wow, that guy is old. And that “Another One Bites the Dust” song plays in your ear? Personally, I think people of all ages can party to all hours of the night—I’ve watched my 35 year old friend Willie drink a full cup of whisky, dance, pass out for 20 minutes, then get up and drink another cup of whisky then party until 6am. Like five nights in a row. You’re not old—you’re just tired of this hedonistic life. Which is sensible since nothing good happens out after 4am, but also kinda sad.

Food. In the grand scheme of things, this is always the worst decision. It’s sooo good at the time and soo bad the morning after when you’re carrying a giant food baby that might as well belong to Rosemary (the movie one, not the Hong Kong one). The usual suspects are there: Ebeneezers, Tsui Wah, Cul De Sac, Flying Pan. Oh, and 7-Eleven. Once I got so drunk that I convinced myself the only way to sober up was to eat bread because it would soak up all the alcohol in my system. So I got a bunch of bread from a 7-Eleven and was stuffing myself like a park pigeon gone insane. Then this group of very pretty girls walked up and saw me literally shoveling mounds of bread into my mouth and crust and crumbs littering the floor. What I’m trying to say is, if you eat, know that it’s not going to be a pretty sight.

Party. Least sensible, most compelling choice. You’re in Hong Kong, hedonistic city, time to live a little, or perhaps a lot. If you’re in the Dirty Wanch (the area, not the bar), head to the live music spots like Dusk Til Dawn or the Mes Amis and Carnegies of this world. You can also escape to the Neptune kingdom or go to Hawaii if that’s your sort of bag. If you’re in LKF, it’s time to make the “What kind of thing do I want to see tonight?” decision. You should do the Drop/Buddha Bar thing if you want to see people high off of electronic music and, um, happiness; you can do the Hyde/Prive thing if you want to watch Asian girls fighting each other; you can do the Model after party thing where you tag along to some rich dude’s house and see some freaky stuff happening until you get kicked out. But at least you can tell everyone, “I was there,” or probably more appropriately, “I was physically present.”

Yalun Tu is a columnist for HK Magazine. You can reach him at [email protected] or @yaluntu on Twitter.