By New Year’s Resolution: Results Show

A couple of months ago, I wrote a column on my “By New Year’s Resolution,” which was a decision to avoid the holiday excess and resultant waistline effect. My goal was simple: lose weight, get stronger, be more balanced and happier. Yeah, happiness, overworked HK reader, remember that? (I vaguely do). Specifically I wrote, “I will be in shape; I will be healthy; I will feel and look good.” So here’s how it went down:

I got sponsorships to help me on my health journey because despite my best efforts I couldn’t do it alone. The number of times I’ve said “this year’s the year I gonna…” is kinda sorta embarrassing and makes me feel like I suck, which is probably a function of me sucking. For some reason it’s really hard not to drink or not eat fried foods or sleep eight hours a day. People who can do that themselves are freaks and I will hate you for that forever.

I targeted two places: a nutrition spot called i-Detox where I did a superfood smoothie detox with wellness life-style coaching support and Impakt Gym, a fighting gym to try a different kind of exercise than just weights plus competitive potato chip eating. So I called each up and said I need to get in shape, will you help me—and I’ll write my honest experience of how it goes. And they said “No” and I said “pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease” and they said “shut up—fine!” and gave me a chocolate milk to drink. I’m a big boy now!

With the food and exercise plan locked in, all I had to do was execute it, which is a lot harder than you think. Do you know how many dumplings a day I normally eat? I swapped fried food for roasted, potatoes for cauliflower, and bought a blender so powerful I could toss an apple into it and make cider. From i-Detox, I went serious with the i-Detox supersmoothie, which is basically protein powder, greens, good fats, fruit, and flaxseed stuffs meant to balance blood sugar and heal your liver, which clearly I needed. A tip—it’s delicious with berries and gross without. Recap: Minus fried food, minus starch; plus dietary powders plus supplements from some people whose advice I trusted. And I found that as long as you have personal willpower or proxy it with some friends or a company cheering you on, it’s easy as pie, which you sadly cannot eat.

Now the other side of the equation: exercise. Impakt’s Alain “the Panther” Ngalani led me on some soul crushing workouts where he and his brothers would yell at me until I stopped crying. Burpees, push-ups, squats, high-impakt training. Then we hit the bags and a small Thai man would make me punch, kick, and elbow him until I had turned into a sweat factory.

It’s awesome. Coming from a pure gym background I never tried blood sports but it’s super intense (duh) which combats my biggest exercise problem: boredom. Trading punches—OK well actually I just punched them, big win for me—passes fast and then your workout is done. Muay Thai is really hard but good, which is something I wrote in a notebook as I was slumped over the boxing rings. I’m on my way to the six pack and an amateur fight in a few months (stay tuned!).