Things to Do at Night in Hong Kong

I’ve made a list of things to do at night in Hong Kong. I would like to share it with you in this HK Magazine or, for our online readers, online while you wait to see if she’s responded to your love note (hint: she hasn’t).

• See the symphony of lights on the Star Ferry. You will be amazed at the majesty of the Hong Kong skyline and the fact that 90 percent of passengers are texting on their phones and miss it completely.
• Have a warm-up after-work cocktail on Wyndham Street. When you check your watch, it will somehow be 2am and you will be wearing a feather boa.
• Head to the real Feather Boa and have their famous strawberry daiquiri made from strawberries, chocolate, rum and real French people.
• Go on a night junk and do the Titanic king-of-the-world thing but yell "King of the Night!" instead, then put on a crown shaped like a crescent moon.
• Have a race through the drunks from one end of Lockhart to the other, then through LKF at midnight.
• Pretend the lobby at Hotel LKF is your actual living room. Eat some soup and watch YouTube videos.
• Stroll through the Ladies’ Market—which ironically has no ladies, only mutants.
• Sign up for a nighttime hike, tell everyone you’re going, and then pretend to sprain your ankle one day before.
• Visit Hong Kong’s beach bars before they’re shut down forever.
• Run down Bowen Road with a dart gun in case you see the Dog Poisoner.
• Run down Bowen Road with a tranquilizer gun in case you meet you future wife.
• Tell a pretty person your phone is dead then ask to borrow theirs. When you get it, call yourself with it. Voila! You have their number. This is not creepy at all.
• Head down to a Wan Chai strip club and pretend you know every businessman there. Ask earnest questions about his wife and kids.
• Visit Hong Kong Stadium at night. Hide out there for two months until the Sevens start. Your costume will be a crazy vagrant.
• Go squid fishing in Sai Kung.
• Head to Guangzhou, stay for two minutes until you realize it is one of the top three worst places ever, then come back to Hong Kong and feel better.
• Put on your tuxedo and helicopter to Macau, making your rich-person laugh every five minutes.
• Spend at least four hours putting make-up on.
• Girls, get a large bag to put all your stuff in. Then inside of it put a slightly smaller bag with some of your stuff. Then put a clutch inside that. Then, put a mini-turducken inside that. I forgot where I was going with this.
• Bankers: work late in the office.
• Lawyers: do you realize that you’re 32 and went to LAW SCHOOL and you have to work late in the office because some 22-year-old investment banker is making you amend the documentation for a follow-on offering?
• Everyone else: enjoy being poor.
• Go to a fun karaoke place with friends and only sing Michael Jackson songs.
• Bring an iPod dock and speaker to an ATM and have a money dance party!
• Pretend you’re in an episode of Mad Men: loosen your tie; pour a cocktail; just chill.
• Pretend you’re in an episode of Game of Thrones: stab your friend in the eye. Then chill.
• Eat at Tsui Wah, hate yourself, and do it again next week.
• Go home. Lower your shades. Take your pants off. Pull out your binoculars.

Yalun Tu is a columnist for HK Magazine. You can reach him at [email protected] or @yaluntu on Twitter.