Yalun’s Note: Following-up on my article on “So you Want to Be a Writer” where the suggestion was “just write!” here is what I sent to HK Magazine when I wanted to be a columnist for them. It didn’t get me hired, but it started a conversation. And that’s 90 percent of it.
The below was an email I sent to some friends. I wanted to be like a Mitch Hedburg style standup comic. That didn’t happen. Oh well. I hope you enjoy.
Some Thoughts, by Yalun Tu
I wonder what it would be like to have three hands. You could juggle three balls and it would be really easy. Also, when you hugged someone, you could also pat their stomach.
Do you ever pretend to compliment people but then secretly turn it into an insult in your mind? Like you say “wow, you’re as strong as an ox” but then you imagine a really weak ox, like, it can only bench 45 pounds or something?
People in Hong Kong always get angry when other people ask them if it’s in Japan. I think this is because they’re worried it might be true and they’re embarrassed by the quality of the sushi here.
I like the show “Heroes.” It’s about people that suddenly develop special abilities like the ability to walk through walls or super strength. Sometimes I wonder if there are heroes in real life. Then I’m at a restaurant and I see some guy trying really hard to open a ketchup bottle and I’m like “naahhhh.”
I have a really good business idea. Consider these facts: Power Hour refers to a drinking game where you drink shots of beer for an hour. Tower of Power refers to 10-member horn-based soul band from Oakland, California. Flower power is a hippie slogan. Chowder power is a list of summer chowder recipes. I forgot where I was going with this.