So despite my best attempts never to help anybody else, I somehow found myself signed up for Moonwalkers, a 20-kilometer charity hike to raise money for Orbis, a charity devoted to eradicating unnecessary blindness. Normally when I mention any product or company, I get hate mail accusing me of being on the take, so haters, bring it on—just keep in mind that little Timmy can’t see anymore because of your hurtful words. Jerk.
The hike is called Moonwalkers after Michael Jackson’s “Moonwalker” film, and participants are all required to moonwalk at least five of the 20 kilometers. OK, I made that up—I think it’s called Moonwalkers since you walk under the moon.* Not to be confused with Lantau's MoonTrekker, it’s held from 10pm to 6am and you walk from Mong Kok to Sai Kung with a bunch of volunteers guiding you in the right direction so you don’t end up—let’s say—in a Prince Edward sauna at 3am. We’re raising money for blindness, not STD awareness.
I went with my little sister Rosa, my editor Zach and about 1,000+ other people, or so it looked like based on the crowd. Many were in costume like...
...and it was a huge party. My visions of a solitary hike in the mountains under the moon were interrupted by a "Gangnam Style" dance, a sumo wrestling match and a crowd playing with a huge beach ball. "Charity is fun," I repeated in my head, fighting off visions of my usual Saturday night, which normally involves taking body shots at Club 97.
We left Mong Kok and started off on the hike, ready to wander the streets and destroy our competition. "Charity is a contest," I said in my head. I resolved then and there to finish first but was faced by an immediate setback: in the spirit of the cause, my sister had decided to walk the entire hike blind, covering her face with an eye mask. “Dammit,” I said to myself, and then out loud. I put on my own blinders and grabbed Zach’s arm. “No way am I bringing you both,” Zach said, and I begrudgingly opened my eyes.
Being blind is my worst fear in terms of senses to lose, followed by hearing, smell and taste but excluding touch, because the thought is really weird. I read, watch movies and stare at things constantly and the idea of not to be able to do that is terrifying.