971. Shopping malls If you can’t find something you want to buy in one of Hong Kong’s malls, you must be a hermit who’s chosen to forgo all material possessions. The price: your soul.
972. Promotional calls offering loans or slimming treatments So we’re fat and poor. Stop reminding us.
973. Tycoons are allowed multiple wives
974. The “Hong Kong Roadblock” People standing three abreast and shuffling down the street, slowing down everyone else.
975. Japanese restaurant staff yelling “irrashai mase!” when you creep in
976. Illegal structures
977. The Heung Yee Kuk
978. The ridiculous names of luxury residential developments Le Billionaire, L’Imperial Kennedy, Parc Versailles, Royal Ascot, Bel-Air.
979. People in elevators who hit the close door button aggressively
980. Kumon
981. Henry Tang and the way he lost all credibility in about a week
982. Tung Chee-hwa, bless his well meaning incompetent soul
983. ”Princess Disease,” Gong Zhu Beng
984. Using LCSD squash courts for everything but squash Ballroom dancing, for example.
985. Restaurants that blare TVB soaps
986. The Urban Renewal Authority Ruining our old buildings since 2001.
987. Fake panhandling monks Capitalizing on drunk credulity.
988. Cigarette “hot potting” That’s smoking in a circle around a rubbish bin ashtray.
989. Avenue of the Stars Worst tourist attraction ever.
990. What a letdown the Symphony of Lights is
991. The smell that rises from Sheung Wan on a humid day
992. Ubiquitous gold shops
993. Flag-on-stick wielding tour guides
994. Taoist sex wizards
995. Horizon Plaza “Let’s just pop out to pick up a cushion.” YEAH RIGHT.
996. The Big Buddha The world’s largest outdoor seated bronze oh whatever.
997. The West Kowloon Cultural District
998. Feng shui scam artist and will-forger Peter (née Tony) Chan
