The AfterLi

Last week, The Apple Daily alleged that the enormous Guanyin statue under construction in Tai Po is in fact destined to be Li Ka-shing’s mausoleum. We don’t believe it. In the unlikely event that the world’s most expensive doctors can’t keep Li alive for all eternity, his mortal shell is going out in style. For instance, he could be…

1. Incarnated as a Yoda-esque Force Ghost to guide Richard Li from beyond the veil.

2. Kept in cryostasis in the frozen dumplings aisle of Hong Kong’s most auspicious ParknShop.

3. Laid on a container ship, set alight, and then pushed out to sea from the Kwai Tsing Container Terminal. (Known as the Vi-Ka-shing Funeral.)