White Girl Problems

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Published: 4:00pm, 20 Mar 2014Updated: 4:05pm, 19 Oct 2016

Being a white girl in Hong Kong is hard. Full disclaimer—maybe I’m not qualified to write about this since I’m not a white girl¹. Plus, the experiences of white girls in Hong Kong differ depending more on your geographical location and socioeconomic status. But, come on, let’s face it: those disclaimers are just a pretense to avoid charges of racism/sexism as well as hate mail² regarding my writing abilities³ and genital size.⁴ So I’ll power up and stand by my thesis: being a white girl in Hong Kong is hard. “OK, but hard in what way, Yalon?” you’ll ask, stupidly misspelling my name plus talking out loud to a magazine that’s not going to respond to you. It’s not hard professionally or socially (or at least not harder than for anyone else)— it’s hard for dating.

Problem #1: Physicality.

Hong Kong fosters a homogeneous culture. Take a look at the MTR: everyone dresses the same. Dark, bland colors that don’t rock the boat. In the event that you happen to see an edgy hipster, rest assured that every other edgy hipster dresses the same way. Our subcultures are rigid. For dating, this extends to body type. The generally favored body type is in line with the practical realities of the Asian body type—slim, petite, tight. Sure, that fits many white girls. But if you’re larger, curvier, or “normal” in a North American/European sense you’ll find that your pool of datables has shrunk significantly.

Problem #2: Cultural Preference.

I don’t know if “cultural preference” and “racism” equate but it’s an admittedly slippery slope. But here at the Straight Man HQ⁵ we give it to you straight, sans political-correctness. There is a disconnect between White Girls and Asian Guys for reasons unbeknownst to me. Asian Guys rarely date White Girls. White Girls rarely date Asian Guys. Normally when I ask why I get a vague I don’t find most of them attractive type response. There’s probably great literature that explains that bias or the cultural systems that inform this decision, but let’s just say that’s what it is. Lookie here. The pool has shrunk again.

Problem #3: Asian Fetishes.

Question: What kind of expat guy would give up his friends and family for years to travel across the oceans and work in exotic Hong Kong? Answer: those who love adventure, those ambitious in their careers, those who think Asia is the future! Yawn. Real answer: dudes with Asian Fetishes. They self-select! They’re like, OMG Asia is full of so many Asian chicks who will think I’m cool cuz I’m white cha-ching cha-ching cha-ching. And they’re right. The number of times you see some weird looking expat with a super-cute cool Asian girl is like 101010. If you’re a white girl in a land of Asian dudes plus white guys who only want Asian girls, that might be sortakindaannoying.

Problem #4: Finding the White Whale.

That’s a Moby Dick Reference, not a race one.⁶ So then, where can you meet guys who like white girls on an island of 7 million people? Surprisingly, this one’s not that easy either. You can show up in HK with your BF/husband or do some idiotic long-distance thing where pain is a fundamental component of your relationship. You can go the online service way with OKCupid, Lunch Actually, Speed Dating, or the super-great-for-finding-a-lasting-relationship-Tinder. Or you can go old school and get out in Hong Kong in search of your mate. Here are my suggestions, white girls. I expect that you know these already:

Sports Clubs. Dodgeball, Climbing, sailing and Watersports⁷ are full of dudes who like white girls.

Expat places. International supermarkets, any formerly English clubs, Wednesday Night Races, etc.

White Girl Pick-up Bars. Those French Places on Wyndham, Kila + Any Irish Places.

1. As far as you know.

2. It won’t work.

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