Ask Mr. Know-It-All: Who else is up there living on the moon?

Let me tell you about Wu Gang cutting the laurel. There are many versions of the legend, but this is the finest. 

 

Wu Gang was a lazy woodchopper, so happy with his slothful life that he wanted to enjoy it forever. And so he decided to discover the secrets of immortality. He shouldered his axe and went in search of a Taoist immortal, who would be able to teach him everything he needed to know to live forever. Soon enough he found a teacher, who agreed to impart the secrets to eternal life.

 

First things first: Wu Gang would learn the healing arts. Wu Gang applied himself with dedication to the science of restoring the body. He worked for one, two, three whole days… but still he was not a renowned doctor. “I am here to learn to be an immortal,” he complained to his teacher, “not to learn to wash a cut or set a bone!”

 

Very well, then: Wu Gang would learn to train his mind instead. He would learn to think 20 steps ahead at all times, by learning the subtle and complex game of Chinese chess. Now, this was more like it! Wu Gang set himself to investigate every facet of this infinitely rewarding game. He toiled over books, over theory, over the chess board for one, two days… but still he was not a grand master. “I am here to learn to be an immortal!” he whined to his teacher. “Instead you have me hopping elephants and chariots around a board!”

 

Very well, then: his teacher relented. He would teach Wu Gang the secrets of immortality, the methods by which man could live forever. At last! The great Taoist immortal began to discourse on the state of man’s soul, on natural philosophy, on phenomena seen and unseen, on the body’s energies… for a whole day the teacher talked, and Wu Gang listened, rapt. But at the end of the day, he was not immortal. He was not even wiser. “I am here to learn to be an immortal!” he cried. “Instead you have filled my ears with meaningless philosophy and pointless distractions. I have listened to you for an entire day, and still I will not live forever!”

 

“Very well, then!” thundered his teacher. “If you wish to understand forever so badly, woodcutter, you shall have it. I will send you to the moon. On the moon, you will find a huge laurel tree. Chop down that tree, and you will have your immortality.”

 

Ha! Wu Gang had outsmarted the immortal. He took up his trusty axe and went straight to the moon: The laurel was easy enough to find. With one great blow from his axe, he chopped his way halfway through the tree. This would be easy—another blow, and immortality was his! He drew back his axe once more—and the tree knit itself back into shape before his eyes. For no matter how hard Wu Gang struck the tree, each time it would heal before he could deliver the next cut. 

 

And so Wu Gang has remained, chopping away at the laurel on the moon. He is up there still—his own immortality forever just one more axe-blow away.