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Friday, September 19
Welcome to the Singapore Grand Prix. F1 night racing: the best party in Asia, after the Sevens and that junk trip where you ended up making out in line for the bathroom. I’m your revelry MC this weekend so let’s get to it. Friday will be our day of music:
8:30pm: Seasick Steve
	Seasick Steve is listed as “an American blues musician with a gravelly and soulful voice.” Sounds about right. He’s an old man in overalls per my Google Images search and I’d pay cover just to be a fly on the wall for the booking conversation:
Boss: F1’s coming to town. A spectacular night race. Hollywood glamor. Who do we have?Promoter: Uh. A blues musician in overalls. His voice is “soulful.”Boss: PERFECT!
Best case he’s awesome. Worst case: we’ve started the night out with irony. It can only rise.
Zone 4, Coyote Stage
11:10pm: Mayday

What better way to get ourselves started than the “Asian Beatles” (don’t ask me how they got that name)? They’ve got pizzazz, melodic Mando lyrics, and are on the other side of the pH scale from Professor Seasick Steve.
Zone 4, Padang Stage
10pm-late: Dash Berlin
	At first I misread this as “Dan Berlin,” an odd German magician, and wondered WTF he was going to do at Zouk. “Is your card the three of diamonds? THREE OF DIAMONDS! DROP THE BASS!” But I know what DJ Jeffrey Sutorius, aka Dash Berlin, is doing—dropping the bass. Or, more accurately, playing music with no bass then, just when you can’t stand it any longer, DROPPING THE BASS. Good music. Good vibes. Good night to Friday.
Zouk, 17 Jiak Kim St., (+65) 6738-2988.


	Saturday 20
Ah. Guten Morgen, mein freund. A little hungover, are we? Don’t worry—today’s theme is Food and Drink. Let’s get at it.
1-7pm: Bacchanalia Brunch
	I know HK is known for its boozy brunches (yes, that was me thrown out of the W that one time) but Bacchanalia Brunch is some next-level brunching. Large plates of eggs and bacon are replaced by mini-burgers and smoke machines and you basically find yourself inside an actual club—except at 1pm. My advice is that you wake up, order a room service continental, then hit it hard. They’ve got tables, bottles, the Dom train models—literally everything you see at Volar, just 15 hours earlier. Embrace the silliness and pop yo’ bottles.
Marina Bay Sands Hotel, 10 Bayfront Avenue, (+65) 6688-8868.
8pm: The Roadhouse
	Ok. But now it’s time for food. Dash Berlin + three hours sleep + five hours day-clubbing means it’s time to switch up the venue. You probably aren’t ready to keep being welcomed to Saint-Tropez, if you know what I mean. So head to the Roadhouse for another sort of hedonism—the food challenge. That’s right, the “The Terminator challenge”: six wagyu beef patties, six slices of cheese, bacon, jalapenos, slaw and fries for SGD58 ($358). Eat it in 20 minutes and your burger is free. Do it. Your friends will be amused, other patrons horrified, and you’ll look like a boss. Until you vomit.
13 Dempsey Rd., (+65) 6476-2922.
10pm: Andrew Mayne
	Here’s where we are. Powered up at Bach Brunch, sobered up at Roadhouse, pulling yourself together. So why not some magic? Andrew Mayne combines large-scale illusions with street magic so he apparently is some kind of Copperfield/Blaine hybrid. Either that or a demon. Only one way to find out. And to allow your liver a little more recovery time for…
Zone 1, Paddock Club Lifestyle Area
10:30pm: Robbie Williams

Robbie Williams returns to Singapore after 13 years! Robbie was inducted in the UK Music Hall of Fame as the greatest artist of the 1990s alongside Madonna and Michael Jackson! Yes, these are all things written in the press release. I am deeply unexcited for Robbie Williams, and not only because he’s British, but that too. It might be more fun to go to a Michael Jackson concert. Even today.
Zone 4, Padang Stage
Midnight: Amber Lounge Fashion Show
	A lot of ink and champagne will be spilled for Amber later (scroll down and right with your eyes if impatient) so I’ll keep it brief here. But every event weekend needs a marquee event and marquee party. In Singapore it’s Amber Lounge. Tickets are, to be polite, for the discerning, which gives the dual benefit of bringing in the glamorous and those who’ve paid so much that they won’t not have a good time. If Friday was a musical lunch, Saturday is the pre-dinner cocktails, and Amber’s fashion show is the James Bond Martini. Fashion show starts midnight. Think models, La Perla, Francis Cheong and (to quote my dear Johannes Pong) a hot clubbing mess afterwards.

	Sunday 21
You with me so far? I can’t hear you. YOU WITH ME SO FAR?? It’s Sunday. And now, it’s time to party! Just you, me, and Seasick Steve. Banzai!
6:30pm: John Legend

I saw JL in Macau. He was great. I saw him at the after-party later and said “hi.” He ignored me and turned to talk to a hot girl. I was offended. Then I thought, hmm, if I were famous, I would do the exact same thing. Here’s our Sunday plan: Get up. Shake off the booze. Have a drink. Head to Zone 1 to see the Legend. Watch him sex the stage. Take notes. Check the mirror. Are you hot enough? No? Get plastic surgery. Then get good at music. Then become famous. Then ignore writers and talk to hot girls. We can do this.
Zone 1, Village Stage
8:00pm: Singapore Formula 1 Grand Prix
It’s simple: You either get it or you don’t. A) You don’t understand the appeal of really loud cars blowing by you. B) F1. YES. YES. YES. If you’re in the “A” group, go hiking or something, I don’t know. But for the rest of us: A night race through the city with the best drivers in the world? Put in the earplugs and head down to the track. This is what we’ve waited for. And the air whizzing by your face might sober you up enough for…
10:30pm: Jennifer Lopez

The anti-Robbie Williams. She might lip sync the whole thing. She might go Beyoncé on us. Who knows? But what you do know is J. Lo is a pop music icon. And she has a butt. And unlike Robbie, her press release doesn’t laud her for being great 20 YEARS AGO. Personally I’m hoping for LL Cool J to bum rush the stage and force her to sing “All I Have” but I’ll take “On the Floor” and the excitement of now seeing her on stage with that skeleton, Marc Antony.
Zone 4, Padang Stage
6pm-3am: Poolside Pitstop
	Night Party, Pan Pacific The Pan Pacific night party is a more fun version of “The Walking Dead.” Only the true revelers have metabolized the bottles of Ciroc from Friday night, Saturday day and night, and Sunday day to make it this far. And then they decided to take most of their clothes off and fall into a pool. This is basically Splash! from Macau except when it starts everybody is already drunk and doing backflips. It’s here you should have a relaxing bottle of champagne, a mojito, and a good laugh/pass-out before your final stop.
7 Raffles Boulevard, Marina Square, (+65) 6336-8111.
Late: Amber Lounge

Fitting to end with Amber, where we ended last night. I’d put it up there in my top parties of 2014, along with Calvin Harris in Vegas and that junk trip mentioned earlier. The F1 guys normally show up here after their race, Estelle is 10 feet away from you, and it’s free-flow champagne until the morning comes. Dress to impress (a phrase nobody understands, but here it means “dress
	like you own F1”). It’s time to mingle with the pretty people and make those late-night memories that will hold you over until the next F1 when it’s time to go all over again.
 

Amber Lounge vs. Pan Pacific Pool Party
This is Lan Kwai vs. Wan Chai, if LKF and WC were three minutes from each other—on foot. The Pan Pacific Pitstop Pool Party (say that 10 times fast) is the reverse day: you’ve clubbed in the morning, watched the race later, and now you’re in the pool swimming under the moon. Amber Lounge is the linear build: music to food to racing, and now it’s time to go hard like there’s absolutely no tomorrow. Shorts vs. suits. Psuedo-pool models vs. real models. Why not do both?
How to Ticket
Tickets for the Grand Prix make no sense. If you try to nagivate the website (www.singaporegp.sg) it’s like trying to build an M.C. Escher set of stairs. On a basic level, there are “Grandstands” and “Walkabouts” that give you access to the four “zones.” Each of these zones cover different parts of the race. The easiest way to understand this is to look at the “interactive map” and decide which zone you want to be in, or which headliner you want to see. Good rule of thumb: the more expensive the ticket, the better seat you’ll have. Alternatively: get a suite. Tickets start at SGD158 ($976) for a single-day ticket and SGD298 ($1,843) for three days.


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Resident nightlife columnist Yalun Tu carves out the perfect itinerary for the Grand Prix weekend.


The Ultimate Guide to the Singapore Grand Prix

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}Resident nightlife columnist Yalun Tu carves out the perfect itinerary for the Grand Prix weekend.

Friday, September 19

Resident nightlife columnist Yalun Tu carves out the perfect itinerary for the Grand Prix weekend.