Funeral Host Ryan Chan
Funeral host Ryan Chan has 18 years of experience working with the dead. His job is to make sure that funerals run smoothly, from the ceremony to managing attendees. He tells Yannie Chan about his ideal funeral.
HK Magazine: What is a funeral host?
Ryan Chan: In Chinese, they’re called tong goon (堂倌). They take care of everything that happens during a funeral: from guiding the family and helping them put on the traditional gowns, to making sure the departed looks good, to controlling the mood of the funeral. It’s a relatively new industry, dating back only a couple decades.
HK: How did you get into funeral hosting?
RC: I started as a Taoist priest and moved on to being a host. I now own a funeral company and I consider myself “a master of tong goons.” I have tong goons and funeral directors working under me, and I train them in-house.
HK: What’s the scariest thing about the job?
RC: People usually quit because dealing with the dead is not an easy thing to handle psychologically. A funeral host sometimes has to take care of unexpected situations, such as if the body secretes liquid or bloody fluids. You can’t be scared, because that’s very disrespectful. But the biggest challenge is handling the living, rather than the dead. A funeral is more about the people who are still alive, and a funeral host’s challenge is to help the family remember the deceased and say a proper goodbye. That includes calming emotional family members, picking the right music and saying the right things to set the tone. You have to provide psychological therapy sometimes.
HK: How do you tackle family drama?
RC: I’ve had family members start a physical fight over the deceased’s estate. You have to separate them and remind them of the solemnity of the event. Worst case scenario, you drag the people outside and let them fight it out on the street.
HK: What’s the most memorable funeral you’ve ever hosted?
RC: My own mother’s funeral. I knew everything about funerals by then, so I really tried my best to make it right. I actually broke several traditions: my mother didn’t look like herself in the burial clothes, so I bought her some trendy clothes from H&M. Of course, I prepared the burial clothes [in the coffin] so she could change into them—just in case they are required “down there.” I also kept her body refrigerated for only five days, instead of the traditional month, because that can change a person’s appearance. She looked like she had just fallen asleep.
HK: Have you ever had any spooky encounters?
RC: I believe in spirits, but I have never seen a ghost. Many of my colleagues say they’ve seen one, but they are all quite anti-climactic: such as spotting a shadow here or there. If a funeral director or host tells you they don’t believe in ghosts or the afterlife, don’t trust them to organize a funeral: they will be treating your family member as a dead object.