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How to Get Our Roads Back

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How to Get Our Roads Back

With Hong Kong still raging with the evil Umbrella Revolution, Beijing and its political protégé CY Leung have made it clear that their patience is limited. It is widely believed between them that the Pentagon and CIA are controlling every step and detail of the three independent occupied zones in Admiralty, Mong Kok and Causeway Bay, from giving guerrilla training to students to providing free distilled water, tents and condoms. There are even rumors of the US distributing free iPhone 6 handsets to students so that they can pick up signals from US satellites at crucial moments. No wonder the size of the protests became swollen so quickly.

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Hong Kong has been informed officially that President Xi will not turn Admiralty into a mini-Tiananmen Square, 1989. That makes sense. If Admiralty and Mong Kok were turned into killing fields, President Obama might be forced by his congress to call off his APEC trip to Beijing in November. Prime Minister Abe in Japan would be all too happy to join the boycott, as the long-coveted handshake he’s been seeking with Xi has repeatedly been turned down. As an American running dog, the Australian premier would also announce that he had caught a bad flu and wished to apologize for his absence. That would leave the APEC summit opening banquet attended only by heads of less important states such as Papua New Guinea, Peru and Tahiti. It would be a big loss of face for the host.

So peaceful anarchy is likely to rule indefinitely. Youngsters and university students have a great chance to get to know each other intimately in the tented carnival. United passionately under the same romantic goal of democracy, no doubt there’s been a fling or two already. Compared with France in 1968 or some turbulent Latin American countries, this is not particularly impressive. But, in carnal terms, the Occupy Central campaign has more or less successfully replaced Lan Kwai Fong with Admiralty and Mong Kok, even if it has not replaced CY Leung with a democratically elected leader. If the status quo goes on without sponsorship from Durex, one worries that STDs could spread faster than the message of democracy.

If the British tear gas manufacturer honors its announcement that its exports to the SAR might be halted lest innocent lives in the former British colony be harmed, CY Leung’s administration will have no card left to play but one. Divert some migrant Chinese workers from Liberia to the carnival. With a few theatrics—fits with rolling eyes and some foamy spittle bubbles—ambulances and cops could be rushed in to clear the area for the rescue of suspected Ebola victims. My bet would be for a swift liberation of all occupied areas by the Xi-CY people’s power axis within two hours.

 

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