Hong Kong Sex Tips

In honor of Valentine’s Day, we’ve compiled these foolproof SAR sex tips for the Cosmo-reader in need of a little titillation.

• Want to really surprise your man in the bedroom? Carefully bring him to climax before taking off your mask to reveal that you are former Secretary for Security Regina Ip.
   
• Some people take a mouthful of champagne before engaging in oral sex, to enhance the sensation. Try filling your mouth with numbing-hot Sichuan peppercorns to really make your man scream.
   
• Music helps a lot in setting the mood for some freaky fun. Instead of loading up the always-reliable “Sex Playlist 2013,” consider a Now That’s What I Call Erhu compilation disc.
   
• Don’t be afraid of using toys. A carefully inserted limited-edition Fuwa plush novelty from the Beijing 2008 Olympics will drive you both wild.
   
• Sometimes it’s great to go back to basics with some good-old missionary-style sex. Next time you see a nerdy white guy with a short-sleeved shirt, black tie and name tag walking around trying to convert people, screw his brains out.
   
• A little bit of role play is a fun way to add thrills, even for beginners. Tell your man he’s not getting to third base until he’s completed three hours of practice for his Grade 8 piano exam.
   
• Some people like to introduce sensual food items into the bedroom to lick off each other’s bodies. Drizzle your guy with light and dark soy sauce, rice wine and sprinkle on corn starch for a foolproof sexy marinade.
   
• If you are confident in your relationship, you could bring a third person into the bedroom. How to choose your potential partner is always tricky, as you want to make sure it’s someone you are happy with. Consider forming a broadly representative nominating committee to select three undesirable sex partners and allowing your boyfriend the final illusion of choice. After all, no matter whom he chooses, he’s still fucked.