1. Ocean Park’s giant panda Jia Jia broke a world record this week. She is now:

a) The world’s most cherished evolutionary dead end.
b) The panda most likely to die alone and unloved.
c) Beginning her metamorphosis, from which she will emerge in six weeks as a beautiful koala.
d) The oldest ever panda alive in captivity.

2. More than 1,500 University of Hong Kong alumni have signed a full page petition urging that...

a) All HKU alumni should be inducted into their rightful places as members of the Hong Kong elite and rulers of the city. Oh, wait, that’s already happened.
b) HKU should be rebranded “SAR College, China.”
c) All English Literature students at the university should switch to medicine, law or architecture, to redeem themselves in the eyes of their parents.
d) The university should stop deferring the appointment of pro-democracy scholar Johannes Chan to the post of pro-vice-chancellor.

3. The US has ranked the SAR on the same level as Ethiopia and Iraq when it comes to trying to eradicate human trafficking. The SAR government says that...

a) It’s just pleased to be in a group it could beat in a soccer tournament.
b) Human trafficking is not a concern, as long as you ignore Wan Chai, Mong Kok and the border.
c) It’s not their fault if human traffickers want to take advantage of Hong Kong’s comprehensive business and transport infrastructure.
d) There is no evidence that the city is a human trafficking hub.

4. An electronics engineer has appeared in court for scooping up $500,000 in cash when it spilled from a G4S security van last December 24. His excuse?

a) He needed funding for his next startup, and figured this was easier than Kickstarter.
b) Someone was going to have to pick it all up. He was just doing his civic duty.
c) It’s free money. Free money! Why WOULDN’T you take it? What are you idiots thinking?!
d) He thought it was a Christmas giveaway.

5. Democrat legislator Helena Wong is trying to push through an independent Legco investigation into the lead water scandal. This is because...

a) The phrase “lead pipe probe” is too entertaining not to use through the rest of 2015.
b) If the government was going to bury anything, it would be under tons of heavy, X-ray-impervious metal.
c) She’s pretty sure she ate a pencil last week and this is cheaper than going to the doctor. 
d) She is not convinced that the government’s investigation will be sufficiently independent.

6. A new Urban Renewal Authority project will sell 338 flats in Kai Tak at 80 percent of market price, in an attempt to...

a) Help the struggling tycoon add to his portfolio of flats he can rent out to yuppies and expats.
b) Help raise some quick cash so the URA can get back to knocking down priceless heritage buildings instead.
c) Help pump some life back into the bleak wasteland that is KITEC.
d) Help middle-income families who cannot afford private housing, but are too well-off for the Home Ownership Scheme.