HK Magazine Archive

The Job Hunt Song

PUBLISHED : Thursday, 06 August, 2015, 4:00pm
UPDATED : Wednesday, 19 October, 2016, 4:47pm

A new report has revealed that Hong Kong is the third-hardest place in the world to find skilled workers, with 65 percent of SAR employers saying they had difficulty finding the right people for the job. But we’re not sure employers are the ones who have it hard...

Want a job here in Hong Kong?
Listen to this simple song!
It has all the tips you need
To land your dream job easily.

First things first: It’s education,
The backbone of our mighty nation.
You’ll need a very good degree:
It’s best if you go overseas.
(If you haven’t been abroad
You won’t get appointed to a board.)

Are your parents both Chinese?
Then pick one of professions three:
Doctor, lawyer, architect—
Anything else you can forget.

So not for you, the college fun
Of sports or drugs or sex or rum:
Instead you’d better spend your nights
On algebra and such delights!

You’ve graduated—with honors, clearly!
A shame that it means nothing, really.
No one cares about your studies
You’re back to square one, little buddy.

So now’s the time for bad behavior:
Call on family friends for favors.
Blackmail, threaten, bribe and tip:
Just land yourself an internship.
Congratulations, you’re on the way!
—oh, it’s unpaid, didn’t we say?

You’ve finally got a job? Congrats!
Time to move into a flat.
Hope your measly salary
Covers rent—and agents’ fees.

And now you’re at work, churning through
Countless reports (all overdue).
This wasn’t quite what you had planned
When you became a salaryman.

Want to book time for vacation?
Oh, you didn’t pass probation.
This other guy’s cheaper by far—
AND he speaks good Putonghua.

On with the job hunt, hopeful friend!
You’ll land that dream job in the end!
You’ll get your gig (with travel stipend)!
It’s that or move to freaking Shenzhen...