The Innovation and Technology Bureau has finally got the go-ahead after three years of filibustering from pan-democrat lawmakers, who see the brand new government department as a pointless waste of public money. But we’ve got our eye on a few projects that the ITB is working on, and we have to say… we’re impressed.
Rezoning Ray Here’s an innovative new concept for you: Using this astonishing new technology, with a single stroke of a pen you’d be able to turn impossibly beautiful, rural country park land into a dusty, ugly morass of concrete housing. It’s the future!
LegChat Instead of the occasional embarrassing WhatsApp chat leak, this messaging app would be the perfect social media platform for the city’s eager lawmakers. With LegChat, it would be easier than ever for lawmakers to get in touch with their admiring constituents, by sharing inappropriate sentiments and barely-clothed photos. We hear that even Chief Executive CY Leung has scheduled a time to post a photo of his broadly representative nominating committee, if you know what we mean. Best of all, Longhair would be auto-blocked.
The Bureau Development Bureau Startup bureau dedicated to nurturing the growth of bureaus intended to boost investment in Hong Kong’s industries, via the medium of setting up bureaus to attract business instead of, oh, we don’t know, actually making it attractive for businesses to move to Hong Kong.
Listen, What About an App to Deliver a Plate of Char Siu Rice to You, Whenever You Want? Just imagine it. You’re hungry, you pull out your phone, and in a few taps you’ve ordered a plate of $30 char siu rice that comes straight to you for, like, $200. What a great idea! It’s a totally amazing app that’s going to really disrupt the char siu rice landscape.
Hong Kong Scienceier Park Forget Cyberport and the Hong Kong Science Park, which both already exist to attract technology-oriented businesses to the city, with infrastructure designed to turn Pokfulam and Tai Po into the next Silicon Valley. What if we were to build another, even more sciencey park? That would be BOUND to attract the startups and big tech firms who passed over Hong Kong every other time the government tried to entice them in. Lenovo, we’re looking at you!
That Super Connector CY Leung is very keen on the SAR becoming a “super connector” between China and the rest of the world. No one’s exactly sure what a “super connector” is, but we suspect it has something to do with sex.