HK Magazine Archive

Win a Free Holiday to China!

Score an all-expenses-paid, eight-month trip to China. No booksellers need apply.

PUBLISHED : Thursday, 23 June, 2016, 3:50pm
UPDATED : Wednesday, 19 October, 2016, 5:13pm

Good news! With the return of previously missing bookseller Lam Wing-kee to his native Hong Kong, we’ve just heard of an exciting new travel opportunity. There’s a free holiday offer that’s been extended to all permanent residents: an all-expenses-paid trip to China. Here’s a sneak preview of the internal memo we found:

Your eight-month trip begins before you even cross the border. You’ll be greeted at any time of day or night by our team of skilled hospitality professionals. Our arrangements with the border officials mean that you’ll be whisked straight through immigration, fuss free.

You’ll be chauffeured directly to one of our luxurious residences. In these elegantly minimalist surrounds, we make every effort to ensure that you won’t be disturbed by any other guests. This is time for you, and you alone.

Your residence with be luxuriously appointed with bathroom facilities, Egyptian cotton bed linen and exclusive daily room service, so you won’t ever have to leave. We’ll keep everything tied down so you don’t have to worry about losing your way. Best of all, our exclusive personal butler service will ensure you have 24-hour attention from our ever vigilant staff.

But you don’t just get to live in comfortable surrounds. This is also a cultural trip, and you’ll be able to engage in lengthy conversations with the local residents, who will be extremely interested in you and your life. We guarantee that the questions will just keep coming! 

Marvel as you are taken all over the country, visiting lesser-known cities for months at a time. Of course, you’ll be able to explore on your own—as long as you let us know where you are at all times. Your short-term safety is our primary concern. 

And naturally, our all-inclusive service wouldn’t be complete if you didn’t let us take care of the annoying things like travel documents or identity cards. That allows you to concentrate on the important things in life, like staying alive. 

And when you get back to Hong Kong at the end of your eight month trip? 

Well, you’re going to want to tell everyone about it.