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HK Magazine Archive

18 Hong Kong Jobs in Need of New Names

"Meat-cutting technicians” graduated this week: It's time our other professions got a rebrand.

PUBLISHED : Thursday, 21 July, 2016, 1:53pm
UPDATED : Wednesday, 19 October, 2016, 5:18pm

Hong Kong has seen its first batch of “meat-cutting technicians” graduate this week. They were so named by the Employees Retraining Board, which was keen to attract more young people to the time-honored but poorly regarded butchers’ profession. We think it’s a great idea. Here’s 18 more suggestions for Hong Kong jobs that are crying out to be renamed.

1) California Fitness salesperson → Truth Economist (Unemployed)
2) Elderly street scavenger → Universal Guilt Totem
3) Broadband salesperson → Street Obstacle
4) Police officer → Pepper Spray Vendor
5) Tycoon → Asset Custodian
6) Feng shui master → Taoist Sex Wizard
7) Fishball hawker → Aquatic Spheroid Advocate
8) Civil servant → Lifetime Employee, Soft Ride Department
9) Lawyer → Wealth Redistribution Facilitator
10) Property developer → Lead Architect, Prohibitive Cost Division
11) Bookseller → Avid Mainland Frequenter
12) Taxi driver → Creative Route Manager
13) Pro-Beijing Legco member → Rubber Stamp Operator
14) Pan-dem Legco member → Refusal Collection Agent
15) Investment banker → Avarice Shepherd
16) Triad → Accident “Prevention” Officer
17) Not a doctor/lawyer/architect → Disappointment to Chinese Parents
18) Chief Executive → Fingerpuppet