So near, yet so feared: the magic touch

Ah, Chinese beer. So weak, so pure, so good. However, it can still give you a hangover if you consume too much - for example, after the enforced-to-the-death "cheers, cheers, drain your glass" fun that can accompany mainland dinner parties.

But no matter how awful you feel, help is at hand. Literally. I'm talking about the famous Chinese foot massage.

In Western countries, a foot massage is called acupressure therapy (in Cantonese it's prosaically called sai geuk "wash feet") and it really is therapeutic. Those pressure points under your tortured soles clearly do connect with all sorts of other body parts and, when handled by an expert, you will come out of the massage parlour walking on air, all traces of the night before having vanished.

I don't know how many people I have initiated in this wonderful art, or science, but it's a lot. They go in full of misgivings: "What? Have somebody touch my feet? Eew". But after they have crashed through the pain barrier and the initial shock of harpoon-like thumbs bearing down on their instep, they succumb and quickly turn to jelly.

Some people, especially in Shenzhen, plan their weekends around massages, which can last up to three hours, complete with ear-cleaning, pedicure and manicure. They even stay the night, because after a massage, be it foot or body, all you want to do is sleep. Pre-dinner massages are not recommended.