Irritating background music has long been a blight on the fabric of civilised society - and it's getting worse.
At a trendy restaurant in Kennedy Town recently, I just nodded and smiled benignly at my dinner companions, like a senile old fool in a care home, as drum and bass music made the cutlery vibrate on the table and all attempts at conversation futile.
Even at the finest coffee shop on tranquil Lamma Island, I am forced to sit outside in the depths of winter. Anything to avoid entering the "no-go zone" and suffer that abominable John Denver CD on an eternal loop. It's preferable to risk being run over by a village vehicle or urinated on by a stray dog than have to listen to that banal noise. "You fill up my senses like a night in the forest"? I don't think so, John.
There is no form of music yet created that is an appropriate accompaniment to staggering blindly around a hotel breakfast buffet after a heavy night, in search of coffee. And if there were, it would certainly not be I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor or Dancing Queen by Abba.
I was once told by the waiter in a Jamie Oliver-branded eatery that the British chef insisted on his own playlists as background music in all of his restaurants. As a top chef, he should be aware that the only place for Meat Loaf in a restaurant is on the menu.