Following on from the shocking ***** of ****** ******* and the ****** of ****** ******* in the season finale of Game of Thrones (aren't we kind to hide the spoilers from those of you who have yet to see the climax?), the fourth series of Once Upon a Time (above) begins this week, and the modern-day fairy tale has gone a bit Frozen on us.
"Aaaahhhhhhhh," cry parents from all corners of the planet. Not having young whippersnappers myself, I have managed to dodge the torturous hysteria that has surrounded the saccharine princess phenom, which has left so many of my friends searching for pointy objects to jam into their ears.
In a quest to bring new life to the stuttering series (and create a scorching-hot merchandising campaign, no doubt), the season premiere, A Tale of Two Sisters (Star World, Friday at 6pm), introduces Frozen's Elsa, Anna, Kristoff and Sven to Storybrooke, a town populated by fairy-tale characters who have been robbed of their magical memories.
Whether the cast of Frozen are worthy yet of joining such iconic Disney characters as Snow White, Prince Charming and Rumplestiltskin is questionable but Anna and Elsa's story begins with their parents on a ship during a heavy storm. Now, if you've seen Frozen, you will know how all of this is likely to play out, but if you've been lucky enough to avoid the kiddies' blockbuster, it's not difficult to second-guess the storyline. This is Disney, after all, not a Gaspar Noe psychedelic melodrama.
For the rest of the inhabitants of Storybrooke, events pick up exactly where they left off in last season's finale. Now that Maid Marian has returned, Regina the evil queen is facing a dilemma: should she stay true to her new-found goodness or return to her wicked ways in a bid to win back her one true love, Robin Hood? Well, every story needs a villain or we'd never get to that happily-ever-after ending, so I'm betting she'll be heading to the dark side again soon.
In previous seasons, Once Upon A Time has visited the magical lands of Wonder and Never and taken a trip to Oz, but can Arendelle (that's a place in Frozen, right?) be as enchanting?
Taking a look at a metropolis as mesmerising as anything ol' Walt could dream up, is two-part docuseries Jungle Atlantis (BBC Knowledge, Thursday at 9.55pm), which journeys into the heart of Cambodia's mighty Angkor Wat. The religious monument as we know it today was once the centre of a kingdom, but why did the Khmer empire allow a city bigger than modern-day New York to be devoured by the jungle?
Using new-fangled laser scanning technology, an international team of archaeologists, including academics from Hong Kong, map an intricate network of roads, houses and temples, all of which have been buried in deep jungle for hundreds of years. From this data, the once sprawling city has been digitally reconstructed.
It's stunning what science allows us to do these days and, coupled with expansive revelations about this astounding lost city, one of the true wonders of the world, that should have resulted in an engrossing documentary. Unfortunately, the producers have managed to make it about as exciting as a double geography lesson, enlisting possibly the most boring narrator alive and employing CGI that would make Hungry Horace blush.
Perhaps I will check out Frozen after all.