The Dictator | Shop Hong Kong for '80s-style earrings and gold face masks

Plastic Oh No Band, Mid-Levels

No, no, no. Have I taught you nothing? You don't start cheap! Begin with the designers who heralded an '80s revival for autumn-winter 2015, such as Jonathan Anderson, Saint Laurent, Balmain, Missoni and Loewe. Then, and only then, can you consider mixing affordable fashion with designer pieces. Marni has the perfect earrings to pair with a bold, geometric 70s-to-80s look, including double circle clip-ons in black and white resin; and funky drop earrings composed of metal rings and a red resin sphere rotating on a single axis (HK$3,900 per pair). For some Andy Warhol-esque pop, check out Yazbukey's perspex dangly earrings in the shape of lipstick or nail-polish bottles (HK$1,550 per pair at Lane Crawford). To be truly authentic, go back to the '80s via the magic of the internet. Britain-based Gillian Horsup (gillianhorsup.com) has vintage earrings for HK$239 and up. Now you're ready to peruse affordable costume jewellery brands. Claire's (www.claires.co.uk) has some great choices, such as the cobalt blue and gold drop triangles (HK$65). If you want to look presentable, focus on bright blocks of colour and geometric shapes, and go easy on the shoulder pads.

Gold Rush, Repulse Bay

That's it. I'm starting a skincare line. Think about it: Botox (botulinum toxin, aka the plague), electric shock, bee stings, snake venom, snail slime, bird faeces. People will try anything to look younger. Gold masks aren't even new. Cleopatra allegedly used gold to preserve her youth, but artefacts show she wasn't exactly the great beauty Elizabeth Taylor led us to believe. Try one of the gold-leaf masks by Japanese brands Kinka (HK$699) and Lunau (HK$1,589; both are available at 9ºBeauty, Harvey Nichols, The Landmark, Central). From South Korea, there is Tony Moly's 24K Gold Snail Hydro Gel Mask (HK$158, buy two masks, get one free; Sasa). Ingredients include, "fermented snail mucus essence", ginseng extracts and, of course, 24-carat gold. Peter Thomas Roth's 24K Gold Mask (HK$792; Sasa) is formulated with colloidal or active gold, caffeine and hyaluronic acid, to lift and firm the skin. I don't have a medical degree but I've read that the benefits of gold skin products are questionable. The gold would have to be in infinitesimal "nano particles" to be absorbed into your skin. Most of the "gold" products sit on your face and are then removed. Maybe that's a blessing, it could be irritating or even toxic if the gold penetrated deep layers. We suspect the popularity of "gold" skincare is due to positive results delivered by the other ingredients. Please, please talk to a doctor before you dive head first into the next supposed fountain of youth, OK?