"I kinda find, the stricter the teacher, the more you want to misbehave, 'cause I think it's quite funny," says Sophie, one of the more vociferous pupils attending Britain's Bohunt School. "I like to feel the adrenaline when you push past boundaries and you get in trouble. It's quite exciting."
Ignoring the fact that I'm less educated than your average spotty 12-year-old, Sophie sums up perfectly why I wouldn't become a secondary-school teacher for all the tea in China.
In case you missed the premiere episode last week, Sophie is one of the stars of BBC documentary The School that Turned Chinese, a month-long experiment in which five teachers from mainland China take over the education of 50 youngsters at a school in sleepy Hampshire, on England's southern coast. The three-part reality series, which continues this Friday (on TVB Pearl, at 9.30pm), aims to determine whether the Chinese education system can teach its British counterpart a lesson or two. Will a harsh regime of long days and strict discipline produce superior students or will the clash of cultures create chaos in the classroom?
In last week's episode, it became clear that the Chinese approach was totally lost on the British kids. It was as alien to them as trigonometry and far less important than chatting about last night's TV and make-up. Few Chinese students would risk the shame and embarrassment of being singled out by the teacher, but among the Brits, where the underdog spirit is embraced and the quest for fame adored, it's a little harder to control the class clowns.
This week, a quintessentially British rebellion is brewing, as back-of-the-class student Josh smuggles in a kettle so he can make tea during lessons (with, as it later transpires, the approval of his mum, because who can go 12 hours without a cuppa, eh?). It's all brought to a rather abrupt end when Josh has his mug confiscated. As class discipline veers ever further off the rails, mild-mannered Mr Zo is pushed to breaking point.
"I don't think they like us very much. I feel sorry for the teachers, we're horrible," says a slightly embarrassed Rosie.
At the end of the four weeks, the Chinese and British systems will go head to head, with the whole year group sitting exams to see which teaching style achieves the best results. It will probably be concluded that a mix of free-thinking Western philosophies and stricter Eastern teaching methods works best, but no matter which side triumphs, The School that Turned Chinese is a fascinating social study.
As if a classroom of unruly kids with a handful of Bunsen burners wasn't dangerous enough, we next come to Fire in the Hole (Discovery Channel, Wednesday at 10pm), a far more advanced chemistry lesson.
Matt Barnett (above), founder and president of American demolition company Texplo Explosives, is a man who is passionate about blowing stuff up.
"Don't try this at home," he says, mistaking his viewers for morons. "You could lose a limb, go to jail or end up dead," which wouldn't be the best way to celebrate hump day.
From old buildings and unwanted tree stumps to unexploded military ordinance, Barnett (who, from what I can tell, still has all his fingers and toes) and his slightly crazy gun-toting Texan crew get a little too excited when blasting things to smithereens. In this week's premiere, the team take out a potentially booby-trapped mobile meth lab (yes, very Walt and Jesse) and are called out to Puerto Rico to detonate an unexploded second-world-war mine that has washed ashore.
Barnett may be an expert chemist and a professional blower-upperer, but Fire in the Hole has a fake, made-for-TV feel to it. I wouldn't trust him to deliver a birthday cake safely, let alone transport a live bomb in the back of his truck.