Smartwatches – love them or hate them, they are here to stay and they’re not as bad as the robot revolution

“No disassemble, Stephanie!”

Those words have haunted me since childhood. They come from the 1986 action extravaganza Short Circuit, starring Steve Guttenberg and Ally Sheedy at the height of their powers and Fisher Stevens in brown face (we’ll move past that horror for the moment). The story is about a robot, Johnny 5, who comes alive, essentially.

The film came to mind while I was watching YouTube videos of Boston Dynamic robots. Whereas before I wanted a future filled with friendly robots like Johnny, I’ve very much changed my mind in the face of Boston Dynamics’ army of sentient deathbots. Technology has gone too far.

I feel the same about smart­watches (segue ahoy!). I’m not convinced we need them and, if anything, they are detri­mental to the watch industry. But, to my eternal sadness, they are here to stay, so I suppose I should review the best and the brightest. Begrudgingly.

We’ll start with the latest smartwatch from Louis Vuitton, the second iteration of the Tambour Horizon. I wrote about the launch of the original two years ago, and back then I thought it was a brave swing for the fences by LV, even if there were a few questions about pricing. Well, LV, it seems, is leaning into wearable tech and smart devices (see its smart luggage, for example) and the new Tambour Horizon builds on the best bits of version one and adds a raft of luxury tweaks.

The design has been tidied, with sharper lines, but the key changes have been the use of new materials and the offer of a slew of new colours. The unisex watch comes in either a polished steel, matte black PVD, white ceramic (above) or white ceramic and diamond 42.9mm case that, coupled with the quick strap change feature, means there are hundreds of case-and-strap combinations. That might sound like watch copy guff, but there aren’t many smart­watches that offer that level of customisation.