Cruising the Med aboard 'the most luxurious ship ever built'

Looking back on my maiden Mediterranean cruise I have only one regret. As the sun rose over the Alpes-Maritimes and my fellow passengers were enjoying our spectacular arrival into Monte Carlo harbour, I was still asleep. And by the time I finally crawled out of bed, we had docked.

I’m new to cruising and it hasn’t been the most promising of starts. Within an hour of boarding the ship in Rome, I discover that everyone else booked their shore excursions weeks ago.

“Don’t worry, I’ll put you on the waitlist for Highlights of Florence,” a woman at the Destination Services counter says.

No one cancels at the last minute but there are compen­sations. While my shipmates are tearing around Tuscany, the generous ratio of 750 passengers to 540 staff is skewed even further in my favour.

I fall into conversation with a group of cruise veterans gathered at the poolside bar. They have a knowledge of the Med to rival that of Napoleon and aren’t bothered about seeing Florence for a third time. Instead they swap stories and reminisce, clearly relishing the fact there’s a newbie to impress. Ports of call are compared, contrasted and critiqued and although there are differences of opinion, the conver­sation finishes with everyone agreeing that the great thing about cruising is you only have to unpack once.

The Seven Seas Explorer launched with much fanfare in July. Costing a cool US$450 million, the Regent Seven Seas Cruises’ vessel is billed (and trademarked) as “the most luxurious ship ever built”. Maybe it’s me but the phrase brings to mind another lavish liner and an iceberg – especially when the first onboard announcement requests that passengers don their life jackets and muster in the Constellation Theatre. It’s only a safety drill but a comedy kerfuffle ensues as the hallways fill with swollen orange figures waddling around in a maritime version of the Teletubbies.