3 terrifying (almost) true new parent stories from a Hong Kong mother who will do anything to stop her twins from waking
- Whatever happens, don’t turn the engine off
Day 178 – The Birthday Party: Social distancing has been relaxed and we no longer have the excuse of not being able to gather in groups of more than two people. Daddy and I are driving to a birthday dinner party at an exclusive gated community in Po Toi O. We haven’t slept for 10 weeks.
Our baby twins have only just got off. As Daddy attempts to manoeuvre our grotesque BMW X5 people-mover through the ornate iron gates, he accidentally reverses into one of the gates, causing it to topple and collapse into the drive. The clash of metal reverberates around the car like the drum roll to a fatal circus stunt, forcing us to relive the moment endlessly. Then, the air holds its breath. Daddy and I slowly crane our necks to peer anxiously behind us, but the twins are still sleeping soundly. We exhale in ragged unison. Another s***storm miraculously averted.
My wits returning like long-lost friends, I side-eye Daddy suspiciously. “Did you do that on purpose?”
“Do what?”
“Smash the gate off its hinges!”
Daddy stares at me as if I’ve become as unhinged as the gate. “Course not! It’s my brother’s gated community. You’re the one who made me sell my beloved Jag and buy this stupid tank.” “Keep your voice down, Daddy!” I bellow hoarsely. “The twins have only just got off!” “Tell me about it,” Daddy shudders. “Think this has been the worst birthday of my life.”
Daddy bitterly cuts off the engine. The harmonious atmosphere inside the car is immediately sucked out of the exhaust pipe as the twins begin preparing their dinosaur lungs for another almighty bawl-fest.