Members of the Spencer and Windsor families have a connection that goes quite a way back. Diana’s brother, Charles Spencer, is actually the queen’s godson, and her maternal grandmother, Lady Fermoy, was a lady-in-waiting to the queen’s late mother, Queen Elizabeth. It stands to reason then that the monarch would’ve known then-Lady Diana Spencer’s aristocratic heritage, something she would have realised would serve her well in her forthcoming royal life.

Initially, the rapport between the two was good

According to royal biographer Andrew Morton, in his book Diana: Her True Story – In Her Own Words, the relationship between Diana and the queen started off rather formally, having been “governed by the fact that she was married to her older son and a future monarch”. Morton went on to write: “In the early days, Diana was quite simply terrified of her mother-in-law. She kept the formal obsequies – dropping a deep curtsy each time they met – but otherwise kept her distance.”

Matrimonial troubles

As the marriage between Prince Charles and Diana began to disintegrate, it was widely reported that the princess initially relied heavily on the queen for advice and support. Morton also confirms this in his biography, adding that Diana found “perhaps a rather unlikely ally at the palace in the queen whose understanding and helpful attitude did much to encourage Diana to soldier on”.

Calling it quits

Another royal biographer, Robert Jobson, said in an Us Weekly podcast: “The truth is Diana was flip-flopping a lot around the marriage. Yes, they were separated and then we had the Panorama interview and other things like that. But obviously this marriage was a car crash.” The couple’s divorce was finalised in 1996.

The final tragedy

Perhaps the most poignant words the queen shared about Diana were those following the princess’ shock passing in a car accident in Paris in 1997. Speaking from Buckingham Palace, after a now-famous public outcry about the monarch’s silence in the days immediately following the accident, the sovereign said: “First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good times and bad, she never lost her capacity to smile and laugh, nor to inspire others with her warmth and kindness,” adding: “I share in your determination to cherish her memory.”

The queen also quietly paid respect to her former daughter-in-law on the day of Diana’s funeral, subtly but sincerely bowing her head as the coffin passed in front of the royal family.

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