In the story, Zaya was asked when it is that she feels most empowered. She responded: “When my family surrounds me. They are such a giant support system and have always been there for me. No matter what happens, I feel strongest when I’m with them.”

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Supporting a child who is transitioning

“Support from parents is absolutely crucial to the development and well-being of transgender youth,” said Darlene Tando, a licensed clinical social worker in San Diego. “Just like any parent may listen to and encourage the passions or the interests of a child because they see that it makes them happy, this is a very core characteristic of the human. Being able to be affirmed for gender and being understood in our identity is a way for someone to go out into the world feeling understood, affirmed, and it improves a child and a teenager’s quality of life.”

With a rise in bans on trans youth and restrictions on gender-affirming medical care and social gender transitioning in the US, support from parents is essential in creating a safe environment for trans children. A 2022 study found that when parents and guardians support diverse gender identities, suicidal tendencies decrease for transgender children and teens and the risk of physical abuse at school lessens.

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But knowing how to support a child who is transitioning often proves to be a struggle for many parents. Ultimately, seeking therapy for help navigating a child’s process has endless benefits for parents, experts say. “When a parent is trying to wrap their brain around the fact that their child has a gender different than what they thought, it is a huge emotional and mental adjustment that can range on the spectrum anywhere from resistance to acceptance,” Tando said. “It can take a bit to find their footing on this new identity.”

During this adjustment, parents are juggling a lot, Tando says, like seeking information and support, while affirming and advocating for their kid.

To better equip themselves, Union and Dwyane reached out to the cast of Pose for information and advice, started family therapy, and took steps in protecting Zaya’s mental health, like limiting who can comment on her Instagram posts.

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“It’s important to have somebody that’s trained to talk to, to hear, listen, affirm and also call out some of the inconsistencies in your parenting,” said Shavon Gaddy-Dalrymple, a psychotherapist in New York City. She says the scope of supportive parenting for trans children varies tremendously, being as simple as buying your child clothes that fit their new expression and as complex as moving to a different city that is more accepting of transgender people.

As Tando said: “The best outcome comes from kids who are affirmed and parents who are supported in affirming their kids.”