But 15 years is a long time in the lifespan of “the world’s fastest city”, and while the all-new Atlantis The Royal sits snugly next door to its older, bigger sibling, it represents a very different, and much evolved, vision of luxury.

The architecture

This is evident even from a comfortable distance – locals might joke that the hotel’s criss-crossing interlinked towers resemble a toddler’s tower of Lego blocks, but a second glance reveals Kohn Pedersen Fox Associates’ gleaming, teetering, wave-curving design as nothing less than an architectural marvel.

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Imposing without being ostentatious, bold but beautiful, the 178-metre tall structure is stunning viewed from any angle – a spark of artistry in a city so often defined by gaudy designs that date like yesterday’s paper. If Atlantis The Palm’s Disney-esque glow spoke of Dubai’s childlike ambition, then Atlantis The Royal ushers a new era of sophistication.

Approaching the Palm, a 100-ish-metre billboard on the city’s 14-lane Sheikh Zayed Road declares the arrival of “the most ultra-luxury experiential resort in the world” – a bold claim even by Dubai’s immodest standards.

So we’re here to find out whether the claim is an exaggeration or true to form:

A grand entrance

Much of this claim rests on the array of distractions on site. The lobby opens up onto the centrepiece, a dramatic water and light show set to music, blasting out at 30-minute intervals.

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It’s impossible not to view the Skyblaze spectacle as a mini homage to The Dubai Fountain that sits in the shadows of Burj Khalifa, perhaps constructed to remind guests they needn’t trouble themselves with leaving the resort – even to visit the world’s tallest building. Blasting flame-throwers and wall-sized fish tanks flanking the lobby spell out the hotel’s dual themes, fire and water. (And why “The Royal”, we wonder?)

The rooms

Sitting astride 2km of private beach on one side, the building’s sleek, sultry design makes the most of its prestige spot, with all of the 795 rooms boasting either unobstructed balcony views over the Palm’s snaking fronds, or looking out over the Persian Gulf.

It’s hard to believe that our Seascape King is the least expensive of 17 room types on offer, priced from 2,125 dirhams before tax (US$579) – just one fiftieth of the top rate Panoramic Penthouse (over US$29,800). Novel touches include toilet mist at the push of a button – ideal for those instant intimate moments. Instagram-ready gold-coloured toothbrushes, combs and razors offer a twee throwback to the glitter-vomit aesthetics embodied by an earlier era of Dubaian luxury.

At the time of our visit, the property coincidentally counted 17 shops and boutiques, and an equal number of restaurants and bars (more seem inevitable to follow). So despite every intention of using my stay to catch up with old friends and the city I used to call home, it was no challenge to remain slothfully in place for 48 consecutive hours, dedicated to a culinary tour that likely failed to fire my phone’s pedometer towards five figures.

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The food ... mmm ...

Surviving breakfast alone is a Herculean feat, with the main Gastronomy buffet offering no less than 17 live food stations, serving more than 100 dishes from six different global cuisines – the kind of over-opulent spread that anyone who has ever tackled an old school Dubai brunch will recognise – and serving generously until noon to allow time for multiple stomach-lining courses.

At a true destination resort, daytime dining shouldn’t mean leaving the pool – and here guests are spoiled with two painfully chic hangs, offering haute cuisine direct to your sun lounger. For anyone with a sea-facing room, a visit to the guest-only Cloud 22 bar is essential, its long, thin infinity pool peeking out at 96 metres onto a grandiose bird’s-eye view of the Palm’s toylike fantasy homes below.

The food, cocktails and beats are of an even higher standard back on ground level at Nobu by the Beach, which offers a relaxed twist on the brand’s Japanese-Peruvian fare – it almost felt insulting to munch on Michelin-starred Nobu Matsuhisa’s trademark black cod butter lettuce or Wagyu sandos between sweaty dips in the pool.

That’s just one of a remarkable eight outlets backed by a celebrity chef – an apparent record for a single hotel (and don’t forget, there’s 35 more restaurants and bars next door, just a minibus away, whatever the climate). The best vantage point has somewhat surprisingly gone to Greek chef Costas Spiliadis, whose cavernous, chaotic seafood restaurant Milos sports a wide terrace overlooking the fountains.

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Heston Blumenthal’s new spots

Yet most local buzz appears to have gathered around a Dinner by Heston, the latest outing from the British firebrand behind London’s The Duck. Heston Blumenthal’s shtick is finding inspiration from ancient British recipes discovered in obscure tomes and enlivening them with modern molecular trends.

With roots in the 1500s, his signature Meat Fruit is essentially a rich chicken liver pâté served inside a mandarin – yes, worth the hype – while the meal-closing spectacle is ice cream created from liquid nitrogen tableside on a specially built machine.

The downstairs sister bar Resonance by Heston takes the same gimmicky ideals to playful heights of parody – with mushroom added to the Frutti Tutti ice cream, and octopus hedonistically substituting processed pork in the amusingly dubbed Octodog.

But does Dubai really need another Atlantis hotel?

It’s undeniable that this new property makes a very different offering to its big sister. While Atlantis The Palm lures families in with Aquaventure Waterpark and The Lost Chambers Aquarium, The Royal is quietly courting couples with decadent dining and half of its own 90 swimming pools found inside private suites.

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Is this really the world’s “most ultra-luxury” resort?

That might depend on your definition. Despite being half the size of its older relative, the new venue is still undeniably epic in size and scope – meaning however many dining destinations it offers, it will never feel truly intimate, as the flow of casual visitors to all those A-name restaurants surely erodes that most crucial currency for luxury experiences: exclusivity and anonymity.

Rather than a true VIP escape, then, Atlantis The Royal is the place to flaunt and indulge, boast and post, to see and be seen – a Dubaian pastime if ever there was one.