Break from tradition: meet the Japanese widows who are cutting ties with their aged in-laws
An increasing number of Japanese people, especially women, are choosing to terminate legal relations with their in-laws after the death of their spouse.
I finally cut off my ties with that family ... the hatred I was feeling has receded
With Japan’s greying society leaving more and more elderly people requiring nursing care, the decision to break ties is becoming more prevalent as surviving spouses look to break tradition and lift the burden of caring for aged in-laws.
A widowed writer in her 40s, who uses the pen name Mayumi Sugihara, took the difficult decision, ending ties with her husband’s parents one and a half years after her spouse’s death.
Sugihara and her husband, who was more than 10 years her senior, had been married for 17 years and lived with his parents, a situation that was never a happy one for Sugihara.
When her chronically ill husband died, conflict developed between Sugihara and her parents-in-law over funeral arrangements and the inheritance of his assets. Eventually, the situation deteriorated to the point that she was forced out of her home.
“After the shock of my husband’s death, and then being forced out of my home, I felt like my livelihood was being threatened,” Sugihara recalled.
A friend told her that it is possible to sever ties with her husband’s family, recommending that she do it to find peace, and closure. After completing the process, Sugihara said the dark clouds lifted, leaving her feeling freed from the torment she was enduring.
“I finally cut off my ties with that family,” Sugihara said. “Now that they are entirely unrelated to me, even under the family registration system, the hatred I was feeling has receded. I can now look forward.”