Loveless Hong Kong: The elusive quest for romance in city with a growing number of singletons

In Hong Kong and on the mainland, the label of “leftover women” – unmarried women in their 30s – has long haunted the female sex. Often well-educated, career-driven and financially independent, these women are broadly considered “too old” to marry. And to some, they are effectively “dead”.

Although this misogynistic attitude has becoming less pronounced in Hong Kong, it does still have influence in the dating scene. And Valentine’s Day is just one of the occasions when single women, particularly, face excruciating questions from friends, family and colleagues about their relationship status.

Hong Kong singleton Vicki (not her real name), a 29-year-old English teacher, said her family would accept it if she never married, but only if she pursued a long-term relationship that produced children.

“They believe a woman should have a family so when she is old, her family will take care of her ... They wouldn’t want me to be a ‘leftover woman’,” she said.

Despite the pressure, Vicki said she was comfortable delaying marriage and having children.

“When I was in my early 20s, I felt a bit of pressure to marry by my early 30s,” she said. “But now, as I approach 30, I don’t feel much pressure because when you’re becoming mature, you gradually understand that marriage is not something you can rush, so it’s fine for me to get married whenever I want.”