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The Hong Kong Family Welfare Society ran a mental health support scheme for low-income families during the pandemic. Photo: Shutterstock

When carers need care: Hong Kong welfare group offers emotional support to those feeling stressed during pandemic

  • Exhausted and drained from looking after sick husband, housewife regains strength in group therapy
  • Social workers at Hong Kong Family Welfare Society help 494 residents through scheme set up during pandemic
Angel Woo

May burst into tears recalling the day three years ago when she waited outside a Hong Kong hospital operating theatre while her seriously-ill husband underwent surgery.

Diagnosed with a rare type of cancer, he had a large part of his right thigh muscle removed, replaced by some of his abdominal muscle.

“I was like a soulless body wandering along the corridor in the hospital and I lost my ability to think,” recalled May, who declined to give her full name.

(From left) May, a housewife caring for her sick husband, and Wong Man-kit, a social worker at the Hong Kong Family Welfare Society. Photo: Edmond So

Her husband, now 63, remained in hospital for 15 months undergoing various treatments, with May as his main carer.

After he was discharged, she looked after him at home, accompanying him to his regular hospital check-ups. When the Covid-19 pandemic arrived, they could only see the doctor online, and her husband had to stay indoors as much as possible to avoid infection.

“I felt so cut off from society,” May, 50, recalled. “The only places I went to were the hospital and supermarket.”

She finally found relief in April this year, when she joined a mental health support scheme started that month by the Hong Kong Family Welfare Society for low-income families during the pandemic.

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Wong Man-kit, a social worker at the society, said: “We observed that many people needed emotional support during the pandemic as they experienced a lot of pressure.”

Clients who called the society’s hotline were assigned to a social worker who would find out about their needs before referring them to relevant social services or psychiatrists. Those needing medical services could receive financial help of up to HK$7,000 (US$892).

May was among 494 people helped by the society through the scheme, which ended last month.

“When I first met her, she was already suffering from some health problems, as she was exhausted from taking care of her husband for a long time,” Wong said.

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May revealed she was under enormous pressure as her husband relied so heavily on her, and she could only sleep for one to two hours at a time.

“Sometimes I would lock myself in the bathroom to cry alone and hurt myself by pinching my hand,” she said.

Married for almost 20 years, the couple have no children. Before he fell ill, her husband worked in the logistics industry and she was a housewife. Since his diagnosis, they have been surviving on their savings.

Recalling what happened when she sought help, May said: “Wong told me I could share anything with him. When I heard that, I could not hold back my tears and it was the first time I cried in front of a stranger since my husband fell ill.

“The doctors and nurses always said I was very strong, but no one ever knew my heart was filled with sorrow.”

Wong referred her to a psychiatrist for counselling and invited her to join a therapeutic group he led for carers of chronically ill patients.

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He said carers usually believed they must shoulder all responsibilities, but that would eventually leave them exhausted.

“We tried to build a network for them to help each other and let them understand that carers also need to be taken care of,” he said.

May learned to relax by doing different exercises and her sleeping problems were eventually eased. It also helped to meet others at the group sessions who shared her experience as a carer.

“I feel much stronger after meeting these friends in the group as I know I am not alone,” she said. “Wong also told us, before we take care of others, we must first take care of ourselves.”

Her husband still needs her help and uses a wheelchair, although he is now able to walk short distances with a crutch and someone holding his arm.

“The doctor couldn’t believe he could walk again,” May said. “Now whenever there is any improvement in my husband’s condition, I really want to share it with Wong. I am very grateful that I met him.”

The society closed applications for the scheme last month, but provides various other services to help people during the pandemic.

Counselling is available over its hotline, run by social workers, and the society also distributes medical supplies to the elderly, underprivileged individuals and families.

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