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Fran Lu

Two Chinese women in their fifties who suffered from domestic abuse have been living together for 13 years as friends in a new form of partnership.
The women’s living arrangement is increasingly becoming the dream of many women in China.
Ju Ma, 59, lives with her best friend, Yan, 51, in southern China’s Guangxi Zhuang autonomous region. They are business partners in the construction industry.
The pair bought a flat together, travelled together, and were honest with each other about their income and savings.
Childless Yan treats Ju Ma’s 28-year-old daughter, Ju, as her own daughter.

They are not lovers, but both said their relationship is better than most couples.
They decided to live together after Ju Ma divorced in 2012. She had been suffering domestic violence at the hands of her husband and left him the moment her daughter was admitted to university.
At the age of 26, Yan married a man she had only known for two months because everyone around her told her she should marry someone with a good job and property.
She was kicked out just two days after they registered their marriage.
It turned out that her ex-husband married her just to get a flat from his employer. Yan also suffered from domestic abuse.
In 2005, Ju Ma could not bear the torture meted out by her ex-husband.
She left her home in central China’s Hubei province and moved to southern Guangdong province to work at a factory, where she met Yan.
The two became good friends. Yan even went to Ju Ma’s home to help her look after her younger sister who had suffered serious bone fractures in an accident.

Both their families see them as an extra child.
After starting a new business together, they cut their hair short to avoid sexual harassment from male construction workers.
After making some money, the first thing they did was buy their own flat, registered in both their names.
Ju Ma said they bought a flat with three rooms so that all three of them, including her daughter Ju, could have a room of their own.
Yan said some of her family tried to persuade her to remarry, so that she would have someone to depend on, to which she replied: “I depend on my friend.”
Ju junior sees both women as her mothers and is happy to see her mother's life now.
“She is obviously happier and more positive now than when she was living with my father,” she said.
In recent years, some women have explored new modes of platonic partnership with their female friends.
Some so-called women co-living partners jokingly refer to themselves as “hopeless straight women”, suggesting that they find men hopeless.

Ju Ma and Yan said they enjoy living with each other because both are diligent at housework, unlike their male chauvinist ex-husbands who did nothing at home and took their hard work forgranted.
China recorded 6.1 million couples registering their marriages in 2024, a drop of 20.5 per cent from the previous year.
It is the lowest since public records began in 1986 and less than half the peak recorded in 2013.
“Such a great friendship is much better than a traditional husband and wife partnership,” said one online observer.
“Their relationship transcends romance or kinship,” said another.
“Their story shows us the possibility of not getting old feeling lonely despite having no husband or child,” a woman netizen said.


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Best friends substitute abusive men for equal, non-sexual partnership, share housework, are honest about income and savings


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Chinese women, both ex-domestic abuse victims, live as platonic partners amid rising trend

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}Best friends substitute abusive men for equal, non-sexual partnership, share housework, are honest about income and savings

Best friends substitute abusive men for equal, non-sexual partnership, share housework, are honest about income and savings