Disgraced fashion designer John Galliano, fired from his job at French fashion house Christian Dior after making anti-Semitic rants, says he is not a racist and has been trying to atone for his words and actions.
In what is described as his first interview since the events in 2011, he told Vanity Fair magazine about his drinking and drug use leading up to his angry encounter with customers in a cafe in Paris.
I have been trying to find out why that anger was directed at this race
"It's the worst thing I have said in my life, but I didn't mean it," Galliano said. "I have been trying to find out why that anger was directed at this race."
Despite his conviction for his remarks and being shunned by many in the fashion world, Galliano, 52, said although it may sound bizarre, he was grateful for what happened.
"I have learned so much about myself. I have rediscovered that little boy who had the hunger to create, which I think I had lost. I am alive," he said.
Galliano was one of the most celebrated fashion designers of his generation, creating well- received collections for Dior until he was ousted.
A French court convicted him of making "public insults based on origin, religious affiliation, race or ethnicity" during two episodes in a Parisian cafe and gave him a suspended fine of €6,000 (HK$62,000), which he will have to pay only if he is convicted of a similar offence.