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Yonden Lhatoo
SCMP Columnist
Just Saying
by Yonden Lhatoo
Just Saying
by Yonden Lhatoo

Megxit schmexit – there’s no bigger waste of time, space and money than the UK’s royal family

  • Yonden Lhatoo rubbishes the latest news cycle concerning the British royal family and questions the justification for maintaining a useless monarchy at the expense of taxpayers

I recently found the time to watch The King on Netflix and loved it, finding it to be a cut above previous big-screen adaptations of the story of Henry V, one of England’s greatest monarchs.

It’s an engaging biopic loosely based on William Shakespeare’s series of plays known as the Henriad, starring the young royal who started as something of a juvenile delinquent, “an assiduous cultivator of lasciviousness” as one historical description goes, and went on to become a heroic warrior king.

Of course, this is modern-day cinema, and artistic licence takes its usual toll on historical accuracy. But the movie does make you think about the nature of kingship in the context of both hereditary monarchy and divine-right theory.

A photo showing Prince Andrew with a woman who accused him of abusing her, Virginia Roberts-Giuffre. Photo: Handout

Beyond that, it’s also a reminder that kings in those days must have been the real deal – giants among men who led armies into battle and inspired awe as protectors of the realm. Unlike the sad-sack inheritors of the current British throne who regularly embarrass their country with their ignoble antics and cringe-inducing faux pas.

Probably the most disgraceful episode in the recent history of this House of Windsor has to be the downfall of Prince Andrew, who is accused of rape and abuse by a teenage victim of his good pal, the late American financier and pervert Jeffrey Epstein. Andrew has retired from his “royal duties”, whatever they might be for someone who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and hasn’t had to do an honest day’s work, but many are questioning why he should enjoy immunity from investigation.

Now we have this whole kerfuffle over “Megxit” – the withdrawal of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle from their “senior royal duties”, whatever they may be, apart from cutting ribbons at department store openings and visiting charities for appearances that end up costing more than the donations they raise.
The Sun newspaper's front page after Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announced they would step back as senior royal family members. Photo: EPA-EFE
To listen to the hysterical chatter in Britain, you would think a calamity has befallen the country, when it’s just a conniption over a privileged young couple escaping the fetters of stuffy palace life while still holding on to lifelong perks such as the “royal” title that reserves their right to be bowed to and fawned upon at cocktail parties.

And when the Duke and Duchess of Sussex tug at your heartstrings with talk about becoming “financially independent”, don’t forget they’re already filthy rich. Now, as celebrities no longer bound by palace protocol, the world is their oyster.

While the very concept of monarchy, which Mark Twain once described as “the grotesquest of all the swindles ever invented by man”, in this day and age is ridiculously outdated, the existence of Britain’s royal family in particular is like a broken pencil – pointless. They’re a complete waste of time, space and, above all, taxpayers’ hard-earned money. According to anti-royal campaign group Republic, British taxpayers lose about US$468 million a year just to keep these caterpillars of the commonwealth well fed in the garden of England.

Queen Elizabeth, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle pose for a picture with some of Queen's Young Leaders at a Buckingham Palace reception. Photo: Reuters

The inferiority complex-ridden types who adore them in the imbecilic belief that one human is superior to another by virtue of birth and bloodline will argue that the royals are not only metahuman, they also bring “value to the economy”, which is a load of unmitigated tosh. As Republic puts it, “Research shows that tourists come here for our world class museums, beautiful scenery, fantastic shopping and captivating history – not because they might catch a glimpse of Prince Andrew.”

I’m glad I’ve never had the privilege of meeting any member of Britain’s royal family, being of low birth and having neither the means nor desire to hobnob with nobility, because I seriously can’t see myself as addressing any of them as “your majesty” or “your royal highness”.

Forget this Harry, but his 15th-century namesake, I might have asked for an autograph.

Yonden Lhatoo is the chief news editor at the Post

This article appeared in the South China Morning Post print edition as: No bigger waste of time and space than UK royals
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