Former dominatrix reveals two easy ways to deal with jerks and sexual predators
Kasia Urbaniak uses the linguistic skills she picked up as a dominatrix to teach women how to speak up in uncomfortable situations
- Former dominatrix Kasia Urbaniak has started a unique school in New York City, where she teaches women powerful ways to speak up.
- She says learned “speechlessness” adversely affects women and people of colour in all kinds of relationships, and promotes unfair power dynamics in society.
- To counter the issue, she’s developed a few simple verbal ways for women to question creeps, including asking more questions and taking a dominant, outward-facing stance in conversations.
- But she cautions that her straightforward communication techniques aren’t completely bulletproof: “It doesn’t work if one of the people is a sociopath,” she says.
When Kasia Urbaniak first started a new kind of power-training school for women, she had a tough time getting people to understand what the place was all about.
But the former dominatrix says the very premise all of her trainings is based on – the idea that hidden power dynamics often impact minorities and women in unfair ways – seemed totally foreign to so many would-be students five years ago when she started teaching.
“Suddenly, I could begin a conversation with a student or person about the topics that I teach,” she told Business Insider. “ No prologue, no introduction, no ‘Hey, do you guys know that there are a lot of things women don’t say?’
As allegations continue to rain down on powerful media moguls (like the recently-convicted comedian Bill Cosby), as well as high-profile politicians, doctors, members of Congress and male journalists, the idea that power can be a dangerous tool of manipulation is shifting into the mainstream.