Being Chinese | Traditional Chinese parenting 101: sending a child on a solo mission
Grandpa, very much in the traditional mould, believed in toughening children up for the world. Mum, raising her only child, was not impressed
“Be brave,” I told my 12-year-old daughter at the station steps. The words were as much for me as for her.
Train pass – check. Phone, wallet, debit card – check. Rendezvous after her piano lesson – check. “And don’t miss your stop!” It was our third run-through of the checklist.
“Dad, you’re such a fusspot. I’ll be fine,” she said, cringing as she hoisted her schoolbag. We’d made that trip to her piano teacher’s studio, near Town Hall station in the Sydney central business district, many times before. She swiped her pass and strode through the turnstiles. For a moment, as she began her maiden solo journey – just before she vanished into the crowd – she seemed taller, shoulders back, as if the station platform had given her a little lift. And I recognised in her air the same exhilaration I’d once felt somewhere in the streets of Kowloon 35 years earlier.
“When I was your age, I fetched my grandpa’s newspaper every morning. On my own.” He tapped a finger on the coffee table. “I’ll show you the route today, walk it with you tomorrow; after that, you’ll do it yourself.”
It was his version of “watch once, try once with supervision, then go solo” – a teaching method common to his generation, forged by experience, hard knocks and the belief that children should be toughened up for the world. Years later, I would encounter this tough-love approach again in medical school.
