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Cat Nelson

I was born in Jinan, China, in 1987. My grandpa named me Xiao Kang after what was a pretty popular slogan at the time, which roughly translates to “a moderate amount of prosperity for all is better than a great deal of prosperity for a few”. If I’m butchering it, this is part of the diaspora kid problem, where you only know just a smidgen of your history in your culture.
Lincoln convert

My parents were actually in the United States for the first two years of my life. I lived with my grandparents, predominantly, as a baby. I joined my parents in 1989 in Lincoln, Nebraska. It was always supposed to be temporary, but it turns out that, through a variety of circumstances, we ended up staying and became US citizens. To this day my mum jokes, “We’re on the world’s longest vacation, going on 35-plus years now.”
Dodging Elmo
Shortly after I came, we applied for green cards and I had the option of having a new legal name. At the time I was attending Head Start, which is a federal programme for day care. I had a pretty great experience, but the one thing that was always sticky was that no one could pronounce “Xiao Kang”. My parents said, “Xiao Kang, choose a new name to learn English.” I thought of two or three people from television – Elmo from Sesame Street, Michelangelo from the Ninja Turtles, the ayi (auntie) who looked so pretty named Connie Chung (the television journalist). It was an easy decision in that sense.
Connie mania

That was always my party fun fact – I named myself after Connie Chung. I quickly realised after I started going to a college with 50 per cent-plus Asian-Americans, that the story actually wasn’t that fun of a fact, because every Asian woman named Connie also had that same story. There are quite a few of us. I looked into it and around the time that Connie Chung was on the air, the number of Asian girls born who were named Connie spiked.
A date with the OG

When I reached out to Connie Chung many years ago, I was surprised to realise that she had no idea. She had no idea that she had left any sort of legacy. I wrote it up for The New York Times, and they organised an amazing photo shoot with a Chinese-American photographer named Connie as well. They got Connie Chung walking into the room surrounded by young Connies. It was such an emotional, amazing, incredible moment.
One among many
I lived in a variety of states in the Midwest: Nebraska, Alabama – which is the South, but still in the very centre – and then Minnesota, where I spent my formative years. We grew up in a place where Chinese kids my age were very few and far between so my sister and I only had one data point of what it meant to be Chinese. I just knew what it meant to be part of my family living in uniform Minnesota. It wasn’t until I went to university in Northern California that I realised there’s a lot of different types of us. It’s such a naive kind of realisation but it consumed me for many years – the shock of it, what it meant to be one among many, and to find a place within it.
Big blog ambitions
I was a child of the internet. As soon as I could figure out how to do it, I started a blog. I kept one throughout high school. Then in college, I realised that blogs are not just a thing that you can use to procrastinate and waste time; it could be a job. You could make money from it. The entire time I was in college, I had one foot out the door trying to make my way to New York, where I knew people had ambitions that were similar to mine, ambitions to be on the internet and write.
I am fashion

At the time, fashion sites and personal websites were my space. I loved reading them and there was actually one based in Hong Kong called iamfashion.blogspot.com. It was written by two people – one based in Hong Kong, one based somewhere else – and they would write about fashion to one another. This was my universe and all I wanted to do.
Crash sites
I graduated in 2009. Prior to that, I had a few internships in New York to understand if this was a place I could survive and to make connections. I’d lined up a couple of potential jobs. Then the stock market collapsed and the recession happened. Not a single person I knew who graduated ended up with a job. The magazines that offered me work, they all folded.
The hustle
I applied to hundreds of publications and got rejected from every single one. I got rejected from the most embarrassing things – to be someone’s assistant’s assistant’s assistant, things that paid laughable money, like US$5 a day. I was getting so demoralised, but a job opened up at my favourite publication, Refinery29. I created a website to show that if I were to work for them for a day, these are the things I would write. I came up with images, I did Photoshopping, I had everything coded perfectly. They were either a little impressed or creeped out by the amount of work that I put in, but it worked. I got the job.
The truth is out there

I ended up with this incredible opportunity to work on a style docu-series while I was at Refinery29 which merged all of the interests I had as a reporter and a journalist. It was called Style Out There. That was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had – to look for stories within communities, oftentimes about young women who felt very marginalised wherever they were, and how they fought against it through adornment, what they wore, and how they dressed and styled themselves. It was fascinating to see the resilience and creativity of women around the world.
Lala land
One of the products of media – digital media maybe more so than anything else – is that it starts to become repetitive, and even the most consistent people can get tired at a certain point. After 12 years, I needed a break. My husband, who’s from Southern California, suggested we move to Los Angeles. I joke to people that if you grew up in Southern California, you’re like salmon – you’ll always swim back home at a certain point. Now, having been in LA for five years, I totally understand why there’s something really comfortable and magical about this place.
Spirit of adventure

I’d never thought that writing a book was something I ever wanted to do. Perhaps there was a perverse, masochistic “maybe I can do it”. But in terms of, “Are there stories that I can tell that would be best in book form?” It was no. That is, until my mum shared how she felt that all people wanted from her was to know that she suffered in the United States, and how that made her feel. For her, her story isn’t about suffering at all, it’s about adventure. I think that idea for the diaspora is something that is both energising and a little bit humbling.
An experience shared
For a lot of people, a memoir is a loaded thing to write. If you’re not 80 years old and one of the most famous people in the world, it’s like, “What business do you have writing a memoir in your 30s?” My answer to that is it’s about my mother and not about me – although of course I’m in it because it is based on my recollections. But it’s a way for my mum to be able to share her thought processes, the way she sees the world, which is incredibly unique, incredibly optimistic, incredibly weird.
Origin story

“Wo De Ma Ya” (which translates to “Oh my mother!” but is typically used as “Oh my god!”) was a fun expression to be able to share with non-Chinese speakers. It’s when you feel like cursing, you think about your mum. When you think about something shocking, or when you need to use that phrase, your first instinct is, “Oh yeah, your mum is the origin of every single strong emotion.” Both positive and negative.
The aftermath
I published the book a year ago. Since then I’ve had a baby and have been on parental leave. For my day job, I work in tech and marketing, so I do have a very boring job outside book publishing and writing. I write about what I know – currently I’m working on a lot about motherhood, post-partum and raising kids in 2025, which, it turns out, is not as easy as I thought it would be.
“Oh My Mother: The Immigrant Mother / Daughter Relationship”, a talk by Connie Wang, at Yellow Room, Soho House, 33 Des Voeux Road West, Sheung Wan, on March 8. For details, visit festival.org.hk


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Profile

An Asian-American author’s journey through motherhood and media

Connie Wang talks about being one of many Connies, finding style stories around the world, and her mother’s sense of adventure. Photo: Chris Buck

Connie Wang and her family during their move from Alabama to Minnesota in 1994. Photo: Connie Wang

Connie Wang’s hilarious memoir, Oh My Mother! (2023), resonated with many diaspora kids. Photo: Connie Wang

A bunch of Connies gathered in November 2024 to honour Connie Chung, including Connie Wang herself. Photo: Connie Wang

Connie Wang was deeply interested in fashion as a student. Photo: Connie Wang

Connie Wang filming docu-series Style Out There in Namibia, November 2017. Photo: Connie Wang

In her memoir, Connie Wang reframes the immigrant experience as an adventure. Photo: Connie Wang

Connie Wang and her mother Qing in April 2018, in Rome. Photo: Connie Wang

How Hong Kong filmmaker Fruit Chan found his way in the industry

Hong Kong filmmaker Fruit Chan. Photo: SCMP / Jocelyn Tam

Fruit Chan in Kowloon, Hong Kong. Photo: Jocelyn Tam

Fruit Chan behind the scenes on the set of True Love. Photo: Courtesy of Golden Scene

Wenders Li, Sam Lee and Neiky Yim in Fruit Chan’s 1997 film, Made in Hong Kong. Photo: Handout

Miriam Yeung Chin-wah in a scene from Fruit Chan’s movie Dumplings. Photo: Courtesy of Applause Pictures Ltd.

Fruit Chan learned to direct films while working in the industry. Photo: Jocelyn Tam

The directors reshaping Asian cinema, from Jia Zhangke and Ray Yeung, to Tzang Merwyn Tong and Tony Bui

Jia Zhangke, a Chinese film and television director, screenwriter, producer, actor and writer. Photo: Jocelyn Tam


Tony Bui’s Three Seasons was the first American film to be made in Vietnam after president Bill Clinton lifted a historic embargo. Photo: Courtesy of Hopper Stone

How a Hong Kong neon artist is making new waves in a sunset industry

Jive Lau, founder of Kowloneon, pictured at his studio in Wong Chuk Hang, Hong Kong. Photo: Jocelyn Tam

Jive Lau’s neon artwork Dragon Phoenix. Photo: Jocelyn Tam

The Seed and Breed, by Huang Shan-lo and Jive Lau. Photo: Courtesy of Crafts on Peel

Jive Lau, founder of Kowloneon, at work in his studio. Photo: Jocelyn Tam

Tools of the neon-sign-making trade at Jive Lau’s Kowloneon studio. Photo: Jocelyn Tam

Neon artwork Enjoy Yourself Tonight by Jive Lau x G.O.D. Photo: Courtesy of Jive Lau

The 2022 film A Light Never Goes Out follows a family’s efforts to grapple with the legacy of a Hong Kong neon-sign-maker after his death. Photo: Edko Films Limited

Cantonese opera star Mitche Choi on keeping the Hong Kong tradition alive

Mitche Choi wears a traditional Cantonese opera costume. Photo: Jocelyn Tam

Mitche Choi takes the stage in an early performance by her company, Shan Opera. Photo: Courtesy of Mitche Choi

Mitche Choi and her sister at one of their performances at the elderly home. Photo: Courtesy of Mitche Choi

Mitche Choi is a Cantonese opera performer based in Hong Kong, and the founder of Shan Opera. Photo: Jocelyn Tam

Mitche Choi is keeping the tradition of Cantonese opera alive through her company Shan Opera. Photo: Jocelyn Tam

Mitche Choi puts on make-up for the stage. Photo: Jocelyn Tam

Mitche Choi married her husband Stephen in December 2023. Photo: Courtesy of Mitche Choi

Mitche Choi on stage in a production of the play The Butterfly and Red Pear Blossom. Photo: Courtesy of Shan Opera

Mitche Choi on stage during one of her early performances. Photo: Courtesy of Mitche Choi

Mitche Choi appears on stage in a scene from The Butterfly and Red Pear Blossom. Photo: Courtesy of Shan Opera

Miche Choi delivered a TEDx talk titled How Cantonese Opera Bridges Culture, Identity and the Future. Photo: Courtesy of Mitche Choi

Hong Kong singer-songwriter Kiri T on her own brand of Cantopop

Singer-songwriter Kiri T. Photo: Jocelyn Tam

“Cantopop is a bit of everything, kind of like how Hong Kong people are,” says Kiri T. Photo: Courtesy of Kiri T

“The culture is a lot more open now. I feel more free. I feel a lot more heard when I make music,” says Kiri T. Photo: Courtesy of Kiri T

Kiri T at Ridiculously_Kiri T Live 2024, the singer-songwriter’s first solo concert, at The Box, Freespace, West Kowloon Cultural District, Hong Kong, last October. Photo: 2ectohandle

Kiri T at Ridiculously_Kiri T Live 2024, her solo concert at West Kowloon Cultural District, Hong Kong, last October. Photo: 2ectohandle

Kiri T says she wants to retain as much Cantonese in her lyrics as possible. Photo: 2ectohandle

PostMag

Culture

Connie Wang, author of the memoir Oh My Mother!, on growing up in America’s Midwest, telling her mum’s story, and working at Refinery29


Connie Wang, author of the memoir Oh My Mother!, on growing up in America’s Midwest, telling her mum’s story, and working at Refinery29.


An Asian-American author’s journey through motherhood and media

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}Connie Wang, author of the memoir Oh My Mother!, on growing up in America’s Midwest, telling her mum’s story, and working at Refinery29

.css-1mniedq{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;}Lincoln convert

Connie Wang, author of the memoir Oh My Mother!, on growing up in America’s Midwest, telling her mum’s story, and working at Refinery29

Lincoln convert